(Closed) HELP! – My Bridesmaid will have a NEWBORN!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I actually had this exact same thing happen but in a way totally crazier different way, and my FH ‘outed’ them (his stepbro & SIL)….she might greatly appreciate an ‘out’, but she also might be hurt. That’s something only you could gauge, because we don’t know her. Good luck no matter what.

Post # 4
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

If it’s her second, she might be totally prepared and be hurt if you give her an out. I would definitely give her the option but realize that she might be totally prepared to be there for you on your day. 

I have a newborn and if we were going to a wedding soon and it was someone close to me, I’d have Darling Husband stay in the hotel with DS and go to the wedding solo. Yes, you have to pump if you’re breastfeeding but it’s only every 2-3 hours and it only takes 10-20 minutes. It wouldn’t leave an empty seat at a table that much longer than someone heading to the bathroom. 

Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Our niece was 6 weeks old when we got married and she wasn’t invited (my BIL & SIL wanted a night off anyway). We got married at a resort so my SIL’s parents came out for the weekend and stayed in the hotel room with the baby. My SIL went back and forth to feed throughout the night. If you happen to be getting married at or within close proximity of a hotel, maybe this could be an option for you. You’d have to be patient with her and cut her some slack but if you want your friend to be beside you on your wedding day, you’ll have to compromise.

Post # 7
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Do it in a way that’s making sure it’s what SHE wants–You could simply say, “I’m so excited for this new baby, but I want to make sure YOU want to spend the evening away from him/her? I don’t want to have that pressure on you just because of my wedding” And you will know if she is having second thoughts 🙂 There are plenty of nice ways to do it by letting her know you’re thinking of HER (even if you are thinking of yourself, you still want her to be happy and feel good!).

Post # 9
Member
11352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I just wanted to present a possible alternative for you to consider. I see that you do not want to have any children at your wedding; however, a newborn infant sleeps almost all of the time, and, when a newborn cries, it is very soft relative to the cries of an older baby or child. If you decide you could live with this, you could allow your best friend to continue her role and just have her husband care for the baby during the ceremony and also the reception, except those times (about every two hours ) when the baby needs to eat.  Yes, your friend definitely would need to excuse herself periodically to feed her baby, but, with people getting up to use the rest room and mingling and chatting, she likely would not be the only member of the wedding party not seated at the head table the entire time. As long as your friend would be able to remain in her spot during the ceremony and for all of the pictures in which the bridesmaids appear, and be present at the head table for most of the dinner, it should be possible for her to fulfill her role as your bridesmaid while also caring for her baby. (Also, I would not worry about other guests being upset if they see a newborn at your wedding when they were not permitted to bring their children. You would certainly have the right to make an exception — if you wanted to — for your best friend who is in the bridal party and who had just given birth.)

Post # 10
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

Shes a grown up right? and she’s had a kid before…. I know what you’re saying, but she can make her own decisions, can’t she? I’d be more worried about hurting her feelings, or making her feel like you don’t have confidence in her….

Post # 11
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man are married and are expecting their first about 1.5 months before our wedding. Her sister is just coming into town for the night of the wedding and will be watching the LO. I am not worried. If this is her second, she knows what to expect and can gauge her own involvement and ablilities. If she is not concerned, you shouldn’t be 🙂

Post # 14
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Same boat as me. Future Sister-In-Law is due Aug 1st and our wedding is Sept 1st. She was WAY late with the first one and had to be induced so there’s a good chance she will have like a 2-3 week old baby. I’m not worrying about it. I know she will be there the day of, whether she ends up needing to leave, pop out for a bit to feed or whatever it may be, I can’t change it and I’m not going to deprive my new sister of time with her baby. We’ll just roll with it!

It did however, put a huge wrench in the choice for bridesmaids dresses which were pretty much chosen but had to be reworked- again, not a huge deal. I went from having 1 set dress, to letting everyone pick their own as long as it was short and the same color.

There are always ways of comprimising and if she isn’t your only bridesmaid, then don’t worry, the others will be there to help you if she needs to step out.

Post # 15
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I had the same issue at my wedding last fall. One of my bridesmaids had a 6 week old, but it ended up being no big deal. She was there for me at rehearsal and all day for wedding photos and the ceremony. Her mom watching the baby during rehearsal and family members held her during the ceremony and reception. It was really no big deal in the end. It was her second so maybe that’s why she wasn’t too upset to leave her for a few hours. I knew she was pregnant when I was choosing dresses and chose ones that would fit her nicely. Oh, and the baby didn’t make a peep all day. Another BMs 3 year old did during the ceremony, but I was so nervous it didn’t phase me at all 😉

The topic ‘HELP! – My Bridesmaid will have a NEWBORN!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors