(Closed) Help. My fiance cheated

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

OP: Do you have any updates? We’re all thinking about you…

Post # 123
Member
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am so sorry!!! I would at least say you should postpone the wedding. I can’t imagine marrying someone after finding out all of this information. With therapy and honesty you may be able to pull out of this togehter. That is a big maybe though!

Post # 124
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013
Post # 125
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@hopefloats:  I agree entirely. don’t go through with this!

Post # 126
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@emceecee:  First of all, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Secondly, here is my honest opinion: leave him without hesitation and NEVER look back. You have to love yourself more than this. Forget the money, forget the time spent, the plans, forget everything and SAVE YOURSELF…

Post # 128
Member
9976 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@emceecee:   Wow.  You’re being very brave and you sound strong.  I’m glad you’re staying with your mom and taking some time to think this through.  I recommend counseling no matter what you decide, to help you decipher all this.  I wish you the best!

Post # 129
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow, that doesn’t sound like anything is more clear than before.  Did you bring up the fact that he posted naked photos of you?  In my mind, there are several issues which- standing alone- would be enough for a breakup.  The photos alone is a huge violation.

That it never went beyond emails- very hard to believe.  Have you gotten tested yet?  While I hope it doesn’t happen, a positive result on something could give you an answer about whether he is being honest now….

Post # 130
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@emceecee:  sorry, but if he said the other guy never showed up, and he never showed up… how did he know this again?

Run for the hills, he isn’t going to change.

Post # 131
Member
11268 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@emceecee:  i’m sorry, i still think he’s lying to you.  if he didn’t show up, how would he know the other guy didn’t show????  he’s lying.  period.  he cheated.

i’m glad you are staying with your mom and that the wedding is on hold.  i don’t think that trust will be rebuilt by the end of the month.  you may want to consider postponing it sooner than later to see if you can get any deposits back.

Post # 132
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I couldn’t even read all of the responses, but I am so sorry and offer my hugs and prayers to you.

Post # 133
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I can’t really advise you on what to do in this situation because the amount of shock this would be to me would be surreal too. I will however tell you this…RUN to the nearest clinic and get yourself checked out. All of that sleeping around with random strangers essentially could have put you at risk for who knows what. Take care of yourself. 

Post # 134
Member
5427 posts
Bee Keeper

Thanks for the update! Stay strong and you will be fine.

Post # 135
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Dont stay with him, not only is he likely lying about not going further than emails, but he already has an extensive history of seeking sex outside of your relationship, this is a habit for him and he will not change. He lies about being curious about men when he CLEARLY is. He has a lot of issues to work through, but you deserve better than a man who makes a habit of seeking out other people for sexual excitement when he is in a relationship with you. You can have sympathy for him without chaining yourself to this confused, selfish individual for life. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Post # 136
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Its easier for us to say move on, run away, leave him because we don’t have emotions, feelings and time invested with this person, of course. No one really knows what you are really going thru and how you’re feeling, but yourself. We can only state the obvious from what you tell us and that is to leave him.

I was in a verbally, physical, mentally abusive relationship and he cheated multiple times. He  Cried, apologized numerous times. I would always go back to him despite of everyone telling me not to and me myself knowing I shouldn’t. After 8 yrs being with each other, he never changed and I never fully trusted him. I was miserable. Finally hit me one day that I don’t want to live this life, I didn’t derseve it. I to was deeply in love with this man and had high hopes of him becoming my “dream man.” But he didn’t. It just got worse. I was devastated being with him so long, I thought i’ll be alone. But now I’m going to marry someone who loves me, adores me, makes me laughs, protects me and most important Respects me. Its going to hurt for a while, but you can move on from this.

The main concept is that the trust, love, respect is gone and believe me, its very hard to gain it back. From my experience, please don’t waste 8yrs like I have for someone who shouldn’t have put you in this position in the first place. I’m only 28, but no one should go through this at any age. Good Luck hun! 

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