- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
Please help me figure out how to handle this situation. My fiance is originally from Egypt and lives in Italy. I live in the States. We are getting married in Rome in January. I’ve been pretty stressed lately with realizing how close it is and getting all the paperwork done. Then this weekend I was PMSing pretty bad too but counting to 10 a lot trying to not let the stress get to me.
When we originally talked about rings I showed my fiance just a plain gold band like 2-2.5mm not very wide. He doesn’t have a great job right now, and I’m not rich either. The plan we talked about was when he got to the USA and had a decent job I would get an actual engagement ring. That’s why I picked a plain gold band. a) he could afford it and b) it would go with a simple solitaire later.
So today after I find out I need $2000 worth of dental work and am super stressed about it, he sends me a picture of a ring. I knew he was going to get my ring soon. The picture was blurry and I couldn’t see it well. I asked is this my ring? which he didn’t answer.
i asked if he could retake the picture so I could see it clearly, and he’s already disappointed that I haven’t oooed and ahhhed over it. He sent me another picture that was just as out of focus as the others. The flash was reflecting off the ring and so he couldn’t get a decent picture of it.
I noticed it had diamonds, and asked are those diamonds? he said yes a little bit of diamonds.
He called me on the phone at that point, and tells me the ring is in the shape of a snake. Seriously. A snake, with a tail, and a head.
HELP! We had a big discussion and he was upset that I didnt like it, but I didn’t want to lie and say I did like it because I have to wear it for the rest of my life. I told him I’m sure it’s a nice ring and I appreciate the gesture of such a flashy ring, but that wedding rings here in the states aren’t like snakes. He said it was different and thats why he liked it. I’m thinking BUT I HAVE TO WEAR IT!!!
How can I fix this? I really don’t know what to do? I’m concerned because I feel like what will happen in my life in the future when I say I like A and he brings home B anyway.
He said in the course of our discussion “well maybe I didn’t have enough money for what you wanted” and I’m thinking surely a plain gold band would have been cheaper than that thick banded snake shaped ring (18K) with diamonds???
I feel so yucky inside because I hate not loving his surprise 🙁