(Closed) FMIL issues….

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@SamanthaLovesJames:  I have a very opinionated Future Mother-In-Law too… I think there is nothing you can do about it if Fiance just doesn’t stand up for you and take your side.

My Fiance has always been momma’s boy… he’s the youngest of 7 brothers, and the one immediately before him is 8 years older, so he’s always been the baby in the house and I think his mother had always made every little decision for him. and this worked for him.

About 6 months before our engagement I wasn’t happy about some things and just sat down and talked to him about it, I told him: You and I are going to be married sometime soon, you and I are going to be the family, and I need you to get there already,man up and be the man of THIS family. I should be your priority, like you are mine, 100% of the time. 

I think it really wasn’t a matter of him not wanting me to be the priority, but just hadn’t thought about the whole thing before, because he had decisions made for him, and it was so easy. He has never since not stood up for me, I guess he just needed it to be pointed out to him to realize what he wanted and what was right.

Maybe you can talk to him with love and tell him what you need from him, and this will definitely help with the Future Mother-In-Law situation, even though you will never be able to change or break her, you will feel so much more supported, and it makes a whole difference

Post # 4
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would have a heart to heart with your Fiance about what marriage means to you. Maybe that you two are partners together and you feel that he isn’t working with you to address your concerns? That you feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle and right now, it doesn’t feel like he’s there for you?

I would try to leave Future Mother-In-Law out of the discussion at first just because it’s not really about her, it’s about him not sticking up for you. Then you can talk about healthy boundaries when it comes to planning and opinions.

Ultimately, your Fiance needs to respect your feelings first.

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