- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Is your Fiance close with his brother? I’d get him to talk to him. As a guest, I wouldn’t be so happy about having two weddings so close together, when I’d have to travel.
Is it a possibility of moving your date if they won’t budge? It sucks because you had it booked first, but I would almost be tempted just for less stress. I would move up the wedding to a closer date if possible.
ETA: Oops, saw that’s not possible.
Also, I just thought of this… I guess they won’t be taking a honeymoon right after the wedding? Or they won’t be going for a long honeymoon?
I am all about you get one day, not a month, year, week, etc…UNLESS immediately family is involved. The financial strain this puts on immediately family members is just ridiculous. I can definitely see why you are upset.
I agree that you do get just one day and there is really nothing you can say–but–I also believe it is very inconsiderate of your FI’s family for them to schedule their wedding so close to yours. I hope it all works out.
Seriously. My Brother and Sister got married one month apart and that was crazy enough- I couldnt imagine two weeks. Seriously. And you have all the showers and parties…they really (out of respect for you and your inlaws) should reconsider
Anyone who says “you get one day” obviously has never been in two weddings so close together. Not to mention one will be your own! The financial strain will be felt by all their extended family too. Selfish and inconsiderate. Atleast give people a month or two to re group.
I am angry for you! See in my family my mom and dad were like really, a month apart but by at that point my brother and SIL had been dating 9 years and they wanted to get married in her hometown so it made most sense to do it in the fall and they didnt want to wait a whole other year. HAd they said ‘ 2 weeks after ( my sisters) wedding) My parents would have absolutely asked them to reconsider without hesitation, as would my sister and Brother-In-Law
I’m actually a little surprised how many people are so firmly in the “you get one day” camp that they can’t see (or choose to ignore) the issues that may arise when two people in the same immediate family end up with wedding dates so close together. It’s not as if you’re upset because you don’t want people comparing your weddings or that you think their wedding will someone detract from the special-ness of your day…there are likely to be financial constraints (on both you AND the guests) that make having two weddings so close together difficult.
When I had a cousin get engaged (after 3 months of dating) and scheduled her wedding for the same week as mine, my own grandmother called to let me know that because she can’t afford to attend two weddings so close together, she’d likely not be making the trip to attend mine. In the end, the cousin’s engagement fell through, but if it hadn’t I would likely have had many family members who wouldn’t have been able to attend as a result.
I do think it is inconsiderate, but not towards you. If I were a family member knowing I would have to take time off work and pay for my own travel to both your weddings back to back, I’d be annoyed with them.
If I were invited to both weddings, I unfortunately, would have to choose. So I see your dilemma but I think the place to start would be with your Fiance and his family talking about it with the brother. Is it possible with your wedding 2 years away they forgot the date or just didn’t realize? About the pizza rehearsal….my sister did that and it was great! She ordered a bunch of different pizzas and it was a very casual and laid back affair! I know you said it in jest, but it isn’t such a bad idea 🙂
Yes it sucks but what can you do? Make them change their date?? I would be bummed but never enough to bring it up. What would you even say?
I know 2 other people that also got engaged right after us and are getting married before us.
There isn’t much you can do.
If both of you will be inviting a lot of family members who will have to travel far to reach your weddings, I can see how it could be a logistical nightmare. Rather than just complaining that their date is too close to yours, it might be helpful to know why they chose a date so close to yours.
You might be able to find a way to encourage them to change it since it’s still far away. Alternatively, circumstances might change where they have to change the date for other reasons. Since it’s your FI’s brother that’s getting married, he might not even realize that how cumbersome it can be to have such close weddings. His fiancee might not even know about the timing, and if she does learn about it, she might not be too pleased, which would solve your issue.
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