(Closed) HELP my grandma made my dress and I don't like it. (Long post)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

Oh wow, such a tough situation! I think you should show your grandma the new dress, and she might understand why you want to alter the one she made after seeing it. 

Ultimately you want to feel special, incredible and beautiful on your wedding day so wear the dress that makes you feel that way, your grandma will (hopefully) want nothing less than that for you!

Post # 3
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

The dress your grandma made you is nice but I see what you are saying its not bridal. Keep in mine it’s your wedding and you should wear the dress you want. Sometimes you can’t please everyone. It’s your day and it should be about what you want

Post # 4
Member
1688 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Cut your losses and find an off the rack dress ASAP. It’ll be a tough talk with Grandma, but you’ve just got to tell her. The dress is no good. It looks like somebody’s non-professional grandmother made it. The Fleur bridesmaids dress from BHLDN in ivory could be a good compromise.

http://www.bhldn.com/bridesmaids-bridesmaid-dresses/fleur-dress-blush/productOptionIDS/0848592b-d439-4e88-b197-5a7086f4ba0f 

Post # 5
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think the dress she made you is beautiful.

Post # 6
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

Talk to grandma again and see if you can leave grandma’s dress long and wear it for the rehearsal.  Wear the BHLDN dress for your wedding.  Be honest but gentle with her as she is being honest with you.

PS The BHLDN dress looks absolutely perfect on you.  Grandma’s dress while sweet isn’t quite as perfect on you–but so amazing that she made it herself though.

Post # 7
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Oh goodness, that is a tough situation!! I have to be honest, I don’t love the one your grandma made…perhaps if it fit better (the bust and necklines look loose), or if it was all one color of white. It totally sucks that you had to hurt her feelings BUT this is your wedding day! You should wear the dress you want to wear. And honestly, I think your grandma is being a little manipulative by saying you must either keep it long and wear it for the whole wedding or not wear it at all. I understand her feelings are hurt but trying to guilt trip you into wearing it her way isn’t very considerate either. Rock the new dress and tell your grandma you’d still love to wear it short – or keep it long and add gladiators and a flower crown for a more boho look – at the rehearsal.

Post # 8
Member
33 posts
Newbee

So I replied to your other post but that one didn’t have photos so now I am changing my answer. I would wear the store bought dress because to be honest the dress she made looks like it should be the flower girls dress, it just doesn’t look bridal to me at all. And you can tell it is homemade (not a bad thing) and I can totally understand wanting to look “perfect” for your wedding day.

Post # 9
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

aswei12034 :  I really dont like the dress your grandmother made.  It’s poorly fitted, the fabric looks cheap, there are 2 colors of fabric, it does nothing for your body, it has no flow.  It seriously looks like I could have made it (I made a dress once, in grade 8, as a home ec. project, so I’m not just speaking hypothetially).

the BHLDN looks amazing on you, though.  

Post # 10
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

I’m sorry, the dress she made looks nothing like the BHLDN. In all honesty without meaning to be rude, it just doesn’t look good on you, it doesn’t look finished. I understand that she put effort and thought into it, but remember that your wedding pictures will last forever and if you really want to wear the BHLDN dress (gorgeous btw), you should. Your wedding is one of the only days when it’s perfectly acceptable to be selfish about vanity, it’s a once in a life event, it should be exactly what you want.  Your grandmother will probably be upset for a while, but I think she’ll understand in the end. Just my $0.02 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

Grandma’s dress is very cute and I like the suggestion of wearing it at your rehearsal and as a “departure dress” when you leave your wedding. I think it would look great shortened, as well. The dress you love looks fantastic on you. My advice is that it is your wedding and you don’t want to regret not getting the dress of your dreams. 

Post # 12
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

aswei12034 :  your grandma’s version is cute but it would be way cuter short and perfect for exactly what you want plus it’s a bit big in the chest…..or maybe it’s before alterations….well either way the other is slimmer and eye catching beautiful.

Also the one your grandma made is quite a bit different than the one you wanted. Could you bring them both to your mom and ask her what she thinks and maybe she can explain to your grandma how it is different and maybe she can fix it? 

At the end of the day…..I would wear the one you bought because I always think of my wedding day wearing a dress that sweeps the floor and makes my SO swoon and want to pick me up and take me to bed without looking sleezy and I think your purchased dress does that for both of you. LOL. Your grandma’s doesn’t. That being said your Grandma’s has like zero possibility of getting dirty….so that is a pro for Grandma!

Post # 13
Member
4253 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

aswei12034 :  I actually REALLY like your grandmother’s dress on you, much better than your other dress.  It doesn’t look at all frumpy.  It could be taken in at the bodice on the sides, but it is very simple and honestly beautiful.  The other one doesn’t do it for me at all.  You see that kind of dress ALL the time these days.  Having something simple and understated, especially something your grandmother crafted specifically for you, would be very fitting for the barn wedding you are planning.

Post # 14
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

The store dress is so gorgeous!  I think you should wear it.  I’m so sorry for the situation you are in.  I hate hurting people’s feelings.  But I think your grandma is being kind of unfair saying you can only wear the dress if you are wearing it all night.  She should want you to feel comfortable and beautiful on your wedding day.  Maybe talk to her again. Her dress would be very pretty as a rehearsal dinner dress. Try explaining again that it was your fault that you changed your mind about the look you wanted, so she doesn’t feel offended that you don’t love her dress. 

Post # 15
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

aswei12034 :  What if you stick to the plan to wear your grandma’s dress at rehearsal and as a getaway dress, but you just don’t shorten it? Would that make her feel better if the dress was left intact? Or would she still say if you can’t wear it for the whole wedding then don’t wear it at all?

The topic ‘HELP my grandma made my dress and I don't like it. (Long post)’ is closed to new replies.

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