(Closed) HELP my grandma made my dress and I don't like it. (Long post)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 136
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

aswei12034 :  bottom line your grandma will get over her hurt feelings. You would never get over feeling like crap on your wedding day! It’s YOUR day, she should be understanding. Things don’t always go as planned!

Post # 137
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

okay…  this is what I would do….  The grandmas dress to a seamstress and have it cut short and alter the hell out of it.  And wear that thing on the portion of the wedding you want.

Next…  Get in your mind you are wearing the dress you ordered for the ceremoney and whatever you want.  Just wear the thing without annoucing it or making a big deal out of it.  Just do it.  No one will say anything to you on your wedding day about it.  

If you feel a need to I’d have a different family member step in and talk to grandma.  They should say something like ‘we don’t want the bride upset so close to the wedding day over this dress situation.  We want everyone to be claim and happy not stressed.’

Post # 138
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - Cornucopia St. Charles

Everyone says it’s your day whatever you want, but the rarely show that in their actions.  Your solution is what I would do.

call her on her crap, say grandma I love you and want to include this special dress in my bridal memory but if you’d rather not shorten it than that’s your decision and I won’t insist,  I am wearing the dress I want on my wedding day.  Someday I hope you can understand why.  

Youre getting married are you going to live your life or the life someone sele has planned for you?  

 

Post # 139
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Maybe you can show your grandma the pic of the dress you want so she can add a little bit more on the original dress?

Another idea would be to wear your grandma’s dress for the ceremony and the dress you like during the reception or vice versa.

Post # 140
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

maybe cut grandmas dress short and wear it a bit for the reception just to please her?

Post # 141
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

What does your mom have to say about this whole situation? Maybe she can help? 

Post # 142
Member
10 posts
Newbee

Team Grandma.

 

OP, I say this out of love. You seem to want permission to go wear your beautiful dream dress from BHLDN without feeling guilt for hurting your grandma. You want it to be alright. It is not.

 

It can be an adult decision you make to say how you feel in your wedding dress is more important than grandma’s feelings in this one case, but don’t fool yourself and create a storyline where you are the victim or the people-pleaser who got caught on all sides. You asked her to do something for you and the result is this quandary. Own up to it like an adult.

 

And if you do choose not to go with her dress, write her a heartfelt letter about how much you love her and the good memories you have together. Don’t make it a sob story with you as the victim. Ask her if you can honor her at your wedding in some fashion. Focus on her feelings. See what you can do to minimize the pain you’ve caused. And reconsider whether you want other members of your family playing “vendor roles” at your wedding and leaving the door open for more problems like this.

 

Either way, I am sure you will be beautiful at your wedding. You are a strong adult who can make tough decisions. Face up to this one like the thoughtful, resilient adult that you are. 

Post # 143
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

 BHLDN dress all the way!  Couldn’t a family pet/dog/cat/rabid squirrel have shredded your grandma’s dress? 😜

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