- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2016
I’m getting married August 13th (28 days!! Yikes!) and I have a bit of a situation with my dress
Backstory: we got engaged May 1st and wanted a very short engagement and to have a simple, low-key wedding on my parents farm before the school year started (I’m a teacher). Shortly after our engagement, I found a picture on Pinterest of THE most beautiful dress, and thought it would be perfect for our day.
So, me, being a sentimental people-pleaser, wanted to involve family and friends to make the day even more special. My dads mom was a florist and is doing our flowers, my maid of honor is a wonderful baker and is making our wedding cake, and my parents, my fiancé and I have been working hard to get our barn in shape for the big day. All wonderful and awesome things! Now, my mom’s mom sewed clothing for all us grandkids when we were younger, and made my mom’s wedding dress. I searched online for the dress I saw on Pinterest and couldn’t find it anywhere. I showed my grandma the picture of said dress, and she said it would be very simple to make and agreed to make my wedding dress.
She lives 2 hours away, so we made many trips back and forth as she made a practice dress that was the basic shell for measurements which was beautiful. She made the final dress, and when I tried it on, I so appreciated her efforts but it was so far from what I pictured. I felt so devastated; she used lace from my mom’s wedding dress and it was very cute, but made me feel frumpy and childish.
I drove to visit with her and explained what my stressed-out brain had conceived as a solution; I told her I loved the dress and the fact that she made it made it so special and beautiful, but as our wedding day approached I realized how it’s the only day we will be getting married and I wanted the ethereal, flowy dress to be what my fiancé saw me in for our private first look. I asked her if we could shorten the dress so I could wear it during the rehearsal and as a getaway dress, and she agreed, and we left it at that.
Out of excitement, I showed my fiancé the dress she made and explained our solution. Low and behold, I found THE dress from Pinterest on BHLDN, and ordered it. It came the next day, I tried it on, and it was perfect. SO. PERFECT. Unfortunately, the next day my grandma called me and explained that she wasn’t honest about her feelings when we last talked, and that she was upset/disappointed/offended that I wanted to shorten the dress, and I assured her I still loved it and was just as excited to wear it and have something so special that she made, but she said if I didn’t want to wear it for the whole wedding she would rather I not wear it at all.
Long story short, I cried for a day straight and am so sad I hurt her feelings, and I’m trying to figure out if I offend her further by wearing the dress I originally wanted, or if I wear a dress that is very special but makes me feel self-conscious and, well, fat and frumpy. It is just a day and just a dress, but I love my fiancé so much and would love to have that moment where he looks at me on our wedding day and sees me looking the most beautiful I’ve ever felt. I also don’t know if I could live with myself knowing I offended and hurt my grandma over what someone could call a moment of vanity. Thank you for reading! If you have any advice, please feel free to reply!