Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor recently found out she was pregnant and after meeting with her doctor last week they told her that her due date is November 3rd, our wedding date is October 15th. Our wedding is approx. 3 1/2 hours from their home.
At this point I don’t know what to do. She has told me that if she is dialated she wont be able to travel that far. She also said she is afraid of standing up at our wedding and having her water break. I can NOT imagine not having my best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor standing beside me at our wedding…I’m tearing up just thinking about it. However, I also don’t want her to be nervous about her water breaking in front of everyone. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?
Do we go ahead and continue the planning with her as my MOH? If she feels uncomfortable do I let her bow out from being in the wedding party? I don’t know what to do!
Post # 3
Maybe you should have another friend be co-MOH, just so that the pressure is off your friend that’s pregnant? Maybe let your friend know that you would love to have her as part of your day, but you will leave the decision for participating with her.
I’ve never had a baby, but if she has a healthy pregancy, there shouldn’t be any reason why she can’t still attend your wedding. I totally understand her being nervous but she really should be ok as long as she’s feeling good. Not to mention, at that point in the pregnancy her doctor should be able to figure out just how big the baby is and what the chances are at going into labor before her due date. Three weeks is pretty early.
Post # 4
I’ve never been pregnant either, but I’ve heard as you get closer to the due date that doctor’s typically don’t want the mother to travel. I agree with Miss Root and maybe have a co-MOH. If she can make it, then good, but she may not be able to or feel up to it—around that time she should be pretty well uncomfortable (from what I have witnessed and heard about) and it may just not be practical.
Post # 5
I think you can go ahead with the planning with her as Maid/Matron of Honor but definately have a back up plan. These things can be unpredictable as the baby can come a few weeks early or late.
Post # 6
It’s also very unlikely that her water would break standing up in front of everyone with out any warning signs, most women are well into labor having contractions and such before their water breaks…so she would know what was going on beforehand and likely be on her way back home to the doctor. What about having your bridal party sit in front? Being that pregnant and standing up for very long would probably be very tough!
Post # 7
She should be able to do it still, unless her baby comes early. My first son came 9 days early. I was dialated for like 2 weeks before that too. BUT, at the same time, don’t make her feel pressured to do it. If she isn’t comfortable doing it, let her know its ok! I know it sucks not having your Boyfriend or Best Friend stand next to you, but its not the end of the world either.
Post # 8
I like the idea of having our bridal party sit and/or even having a chair for my Maid/Matron of Honor. I also agree that the odds of her water breaking as she is walking down the aisle or standing up is highly unlikely, but I’ve never been pregnant. I’m sure she is also concerned about being that far away from her doctor since she did have some complications with her first pregnancy.
All along I have had 2 MOH’s so it’s not the fact that I wont have a Maid/Matron of Honor, it’s just that I can’t imagine not having my dear friend next to me.
So, lets say we continue to have her as my Maid/Matron of Honor but she has the baby early. Do I hae one of my bridesmaids walk down with 2 groomsman?
If I talk to her and she just wants to step down, is there some other role I could give her that would keep her included and a special part of our big day? I already have 2 personal attendants.
Post # 9
aww I’m sorry!
I’m in the same boat – kinda. My sister is Maid/Matron of Honor but one of my besties is due 3 weeks after our wedding. She still insists she’s going to be there, and I hope she does. But I’m mentally prepared for her bundle of joy to arrive early 🙂
Its kinda all you can do. Ask if she still feels up to it – and in the mean time, see if one of your other friends would like to help out with the duties. If they are all friends, surely they’ll understand and not be offended for their late bridal party promotion. –
You’ll just have to play it by ear w/ her and her doc. Have things in place to make sure she’s comfortable (can sit, have water for her) and be prepared if she can’t make it for any number of reasons. Its a really exciting thing and I don’t doubt at all that she wants to be there for you. Even if she ends up not being able to be there.
Post # 10
Sure! one of your bridesmaids can walk down with two guys! who woudln’t like that haha
At least where we are, its not a big deal if the bridal party numbers don’t match. Don’t worry about that – Could you ask her to do a reading? Honestly though, if she’s not up to being a bridesmaid I wouldn’t imagine she’d be more interesting in having another job. Especially if she ends up not making it at all.- You’d be in the same boat again. — Just ask her what she’d like to do.
You could still put her in the program as a maid of honor (she still is, just might be doing it from Labor & Delivery haha) – and put a special note that she’s standing w/ you in spirit while baby so-and-so makes their debut.
Post # 11
Coming from a preggie bee:
Most labors don’t start with the water breaking. Having that happen would be VERY unusual. Unless she’s on bedrest, standing for a 30 minute ceremony won’t kill her. I would recommend flats though…her feet will grow a size and heels are just UNCOMFORTABLE past 8 months preggers.
Travel: 3 1/2 hours drive or flight? If it’s a flight, she won’t be able to go because airlines don’t allow you to fly in your third trimester. If it’s a drive, it will be uncomfortable, but she should be able to do it.
Dialation: Most women do begin to dialate LONG before they give birth. She may be 3cm dialated that close to her due date. She’ll be uncomfortable, the baby will probably have dropped, but really that’s not a reason not to travel. (And at that point she may actually WANT to induce it, LOL!)
Is this her first pregnancy? Most first timers deliver at 40 weeks.
I like the suggestion to have a co-MOH in order to keep the pressure off of her. That way if it gets to be close and she doesn’t think she can travel, you’ll have a backup and she won’t feel bad. In reality, she should be able to come, but every pregnancy is different, and every pregnant woman has a different comfort zone. If she DOES end up coming, I hope you have a seat cushion for her at the reception because you can NEVER have enough cushion!! LOL.
Post # 12
Not sure if this helps a ton, but my mom was my aunt’s matron of honour and she was due with my younger sister ON my aunt’s wedding day. however, my mom was convinced that my sister would be early, and it would be fine. Luckily, she was right and my sister was born 3.5 weeks early. Surprisingly, my mom was the only Bridesmaid or Best Man not to need her dress altered lol!
So it COULD work out. Good luck!
Post # 13
Thank you for all the great advice!
MightySapphire: This is her second pregnancy. She had some difficulties with her first delievery. She had some hemorrhaging and they almost had to do a hysterectomy. 3 1/2 hour drive…not flight…thank goodness!