Post # 1
Okay so my mom has been overly helpful when it comes to cash…
She has dropped over $1000 on my shower that I have a guess is happening this weekend…and is throwing quite an extravagant one ..My girls wanted to do one in their budget, but she kind of took over and refused money from everyone..
She bought me way way way too many gifts..(JCpenny lets you see who bought what)
She spent a ridiculous amount of money on the decor for the wedding…table dressings…centerpieces…flowers..lighting… ceremony decor..
We agreed on her paying 5,000 for the wedding…but it has gone way beyond that at this point…
Sounds great right??? Here is the thing..I know she has to be breaking the bank…hard…
I keep asking her to stop spending and telling her she outdid herself..but she keeps buying and picking up tabs behind my back..She keeps saying I am her baby and she wants everything perfect and that is what moms are for..ect…
She is the most wonderful woman on the planet, and I love her dearly..but honestly I am beginning to feel sick over what she is spending..and guilty
ohhh very guilty and crappy about the whole situation!!!!!!..even though I keep asking her to stop!!!!
What do I do here????
Post # 3
You need to have a sit down heart-to-heart with her, and tell her how you feel. She probably doesn’t relaize that her generosity is actually making you feel bad, rather than good!
Post # 4
I don’t have any advice for you other than what my mom tells me. I feel they way you do and I’m only at the beginning of this process. however, I am feeling a lot of guilt over what everyone intends to spend. I continue to talk about this with y mother and she tells me “this is what we want. we want you to have all of this because you deserve it. I haven’t been this happy in a long time, i feel like I am havng a baby again”. so it sounds similar to your mom that she really wants this for you and is enjoying doing it all for you, so as hard as it is, try to just be thankful as you have been and enjoy. (easier for me to tell you than to do myself)
Post # 5
I am going to try and have a serious sit down with her..I don’t want her going broke over one day.. especially when my Fiance and I have the means to pay..
I am worried about coming off ungrateful…she keeps saying it is her last time to spoil me…
@goldengrlbride…it is nice to know someone feels the same way..it is hard to be excited when I feel like i am bleeding her dry =/
Post # 6
@Irishb: I would sit down and talk with her. I think Moms get caught up in the whirlwind of the day and dont understand that there is life after this day. Im sure if you let her know how THANKFUL you are and how WONDERFUL she is, it wont come off as anything but love and concern.
Post # 7
Well, if she told you it was her last chance to spoil you, maybe somehow relay to her that if she holds back now, she’ll have even more means to spoil future grandchildren or something? That is, of course, if you’re planning on having kids…
She probably feels a bit like she is about to lose you, but there might be things you can do or say to help her realize that is not truly the case. Perhaps have a nice lunch with her where you can talk to her about it. Good luck!
Post # 8
Thanks for all of the help!
I am working it out with her…
I told her that I have never felt closer to her, and I am really enjoying the planning process and the time spent with her..
and the money being thrown around isn’t the reason I always have a smile on when she is around..
It was a little emotional and sweet, and I think she realizes she doesn’t have to purchase my happiness now..
Thanks again everyone