- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2017
My Fiance and I got engaged in February 2017, Since our engagement I have been more worried and stressed than excited. We originally planned a reception for October 2017, but later found out this time interefered with a trip my mother-in law to be had planned to Mexico.
My mom, a single mother of 4 kids cannot financially provide the wedding of our dreams. My dad is not in the picture. My mom recently re-married July 2016. Her new husband, his two kids and my three siblings all live in Boston, MA. They are working to send my younger two siblings to college soon. This meaning I have no family in Texas other than my Fiance and my 2 year old son, also that it is up to me to pay for our wedding.
I have come to terms with the fact that I will never have the outdoor wedding of my dreams, My Fiance and I decided we would have a small ceremony by the pond on our friends land, our friend would also marry us. Something very small but perosnal. It would just be the two of us as my family is not in state and his can never seem to make themselves available. (His mom just got re-married May 2017, it was a very large, expensive wedding) She does not understand why we would do this vs a large wedding.
When telling his mom our plans she threw a fit, saying we didnt think of her, didnt invite her, it wasnt okay, she called his whole family to let them know of our plans (His family is HUGE) so respectfully we cancelled.
I am now stuck in trying to plan a wedding I cannot afford before our Marriage License expires..
My Fiances family is huge, they come with cousins and great aunts, significant others and friends whom they call family. Out of my family maybe 7 would be able to attend. My Mother-In-Law to be offered to pay for us to go to vegas for the weekend to get married, suggesting my mom and siblings fly in to join. She also suggested that I rent a venue (Here in Texas is 2-5k a night to rent) she said she would provide a minister and “Help with a few things” (Not sure what that means but her new husbands pockets didnt seem excited when she offered).
She doesnt understand what it takes to fly 5 kids and 2 adults across the country, with school, sports, jobs etc. I am beyond disappointed that the wedding I planned and was excited for had to be cancelled, I am disappointed in the way she is acting and even worse I am lost as to how I can Financially pay for the wedding she expects us to have, she suggests we should “just have one like I did”…. $5,000 later.. If I am forced to have a more extravegent wedding as directed by my mother in law, then I should want the dress, flowers, aisle and vows too right? I was perfectly content with a white dress from tjmaxx and the Love of my Life to kiss. I dont care about anything but to marry him.
I respect her as my Mother-In-Law to be, It is important to me that we have a strong relationship but i feel Hijacked. We just bought a house in April, our son goes to a very nice but expensive Monterssori, Car Payments etc. we often have to say no to dinner and drinks with friends because we cannot afford it. Let alone a wedding, or a honeymoon.
With all that being said, I dont want to deminish my hopes of a wedding, nor do I want to supress my Fiance dreams of getting married.. I dont want to later look back and regret our decisions on how we got married..
Has anyone planned a cost effective wedding in North Texas without spending and arm and a leg or have any suggestions to how to plan a cost effective wedding without giving my Mother-In-Law to be a heart attack?
Any advise would be greatly appreaciated, I am tried of crying and feeling lost, Getting married should be joyful.