(Closed) Help, my mother-in-laws dress!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

ask Her what it looks like and tell her she can’t wear it

 

 

Post # 4
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I can be very blunt lol

 

Post # 5
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t understand why people would choose and all white dress for a wedding 

Post # 6
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

You should go over there and be really excited with her about it, and look at it. If it’s ok, then there’s nothing to freak out about. If it’s not, I think the best way to handle it is ‘Hey (FMIL name), this is really pretty but it’s white. I know I’m not wearing an exactly white dress but this is kind of close. Would you mind finding something else?” And I would say it in a really nice voice, very calm. Don’t freak out. Don’t cry. Don’t go all ‘bridezilla’ on her. Just talk with her. Most of these people have some good common sense and will probably be ok with it. 

Post # 7
Member
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You don’t.  You shouldn’t tell a grown woman what to wear.. let her look stupid

 

Post # 8
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I know you’re opening yourself up for a lot of “real” and “Honest” bees to come here and tell you how wrong you are for this. BUT YOU AREN’T! I would just go see the dress or have a conversation with her about it and explain your discomfort/concerns. And it’s pretty traditional to go with the “only the bride can wear white or a shade of white” rule for weddings. So I don’t know why she’d think that was really okay. Besides, there’s always the option to return it or exchange it for something else. If she’s an adult, which would make her reasonable, then she probably won’t be offended if you come to her like an adult also. 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
acglandorf:  I like this

 

subtle and sneaky 

Post # 11
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

 

View original reply
livcee:  Didn’t say you couldn’t be blunt. I answered your question which was “how can I handle this without sounding like a bridezilla?”. My reply was “you can’t”.

Unfortunately, anyway you say you can’t wear that specific dress because it might take some of my attention (even if you preface it with our southern Bless your heart) will still make you sound like a bridezilla.

Post # 12
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
Jazzlynn:  Oh, and I totally want to see a picture of it btw 

Post # 13
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee

Your Fiance said it is mostly white? Sometimes guys aren’t the greatest at articulating fashion. “Mostly white” could mean it has a white pattern on a different color fabric or it has white sequins or white ruffles. Maybe it is a light pink or blue and he thought it looked white. Lets not freak out until we have to.

If you see it and find he was right, I would ask very diplomatically, “How do you feel about traditions regarding the bride being the only one to wear white at the wedding?” Sounds like something Miss Manners would say, pointed but not (IMO) rude.

Post # 14
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My Future Mother-In-Law is wearing an ivory dress in the same shade as my dress. I didn’t say anything. I’d rather laugh if off in the future when we see pictures than say something and have her secretly resent me for not letting her wear what she wanted forever haha.

Post # 15
Member
11434 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

you could aLways share with her the nightmare that some brides have to deal with re Mother-In-Law and even guests wearing white. Act like you assume she’s in on the joke. If she’s not trying to be malicious this lets her return or exchange without any drama. 

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