(Closed) Help, my mother-in-laws dress!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

At this point, I think the best thing to do is ignore it. And make sure that all your close family and friends know that on the wedding day, it’s about you. Make sure that they know to ignore what ever hissy fit she decides to throw and have them deal with it, not you. It’s your day!! Enjoy it! 

Post # 47
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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Jazzlynn:  uh. that’s extremely rude imo. 

 

I would look at it first. If it’s to white, tell her to go back to the store and buy a different dress. 

Post # 48
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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mrspereira:  Wha…. WOW. I can’t believe you said that to your Mother-In-Law. And that you clearly make it known that you think she has horrible taste in “quality items”. Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to tell you what she was wearing? Because she knew you’d rip her apart for her “poor taste” and her choice to shop sales…. and being overweight? Yikes…

Post # 49
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

You’re not being a bridezilla. It’s your wedding. I was in a similar situation with my grandma. I’m wearing a champagne/light gold dress and she shows me that she’s wearing a mid-calf length IVORY dress-jacket buttoned up with a skirt under it. I told her no she can not wear that becsuse it was too close in color to my dress & my entire family/bridal party are in green,navy, or wine. So she decides on a navy and white lace dress…again I told her no, And explained that I love my dress but am very sensitive to the fact that its not white, so if she could please be respectful of that by avoiding gold/white/cream/or ivory I would appreciate it. She was pissy for a day or two but she decided to make a simple wine dress and wear it with a wine and gold pashmina. I can overlook the gold pashmina

But stand firm; it’s not appropriate to try to outshine the bride on the wedding day if that’s what the bride wishes. 

Post # 50
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

the not wearing white (ivory) is a very very well known ‘rule’ and I don’t understand why mothers do it. It’s just wrong…unless the bride asks for it to be worn. It sounds like getting one of these blunt bees to handle it for you would be best. All joking aside, ask what it looks like & if it’s innappropriate then have your Fiance talk to his mom about it. I feel like most people should feel comfortable enough with their mothers to let them know that it’s not cool to wear white to your wedding.

Post # 51
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Enoch Turner Schoolhouse

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TheLadyA:  OMG I just died.  Awesome.

Post # 52
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Does your Fiance have a sister or another close female family member that can talk to her without her knowing it was initiated by you? Like have an aunt or FI’s sister asked to see the dress and then politely says “Do you think it’s the best color choice for a wedding? Maybe we should find something different for you”. She might be more susceptible to taking advice from someone else rather than thinking the bride is making demands.

Post # 53
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My Mother-In-Law wore white on my wedding day. But she is so difficult and so childish nothing was said to her as she throws tantrums and loses it whenever someone calls her out on something.

Anyways – pretty much everyone else knew the rule about not wearing white and she ended up making herself look bad.

 

 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by lilymarie23.
Post # 54
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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Jazzlynn:  This seems to be such a divisive topic! 

Another way to address this issue would be to have your mother talk to the MOG. The reason I mention this is that typically (although I realize everyone has a different experience) the MOB calls/emails the MOG to let her know what color/style outfit she is wearing. They then try to coordinate ensembles. I think this is a tradition for a lot of people because it makes sure everyone dresses to the formality and style of the event. (Having your MOB in an evening gown and your MOG rocking a sundress and flip flops just means someone is going to feel uncomfortable). 

Without knowing your family situation, it is possible that your MOG might be less upset if your mother called and let her know what she was wearing. It might be easier for the MOG to hear another perspective from someone who is involved in the wedding but is not the bride. 

No matter what anyone else wears on that day, I think all of your guests will remember how beautiful and in love you looked. 

Best of luck! 

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