Post # 1
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
(wrong category – sorry. I will move it.)
I don’t know what to do. The other day, I was at work (I work 16 hours a day) when I received a voicemail from the officiant stating that he had not heard from us in a few weeks so he had assumed we were no longer interested and he had taken us off his calendar.
I had called him the week prior to set up a meeting with him, but he never returned my call. I had planned on calling him back again, but I only have his home phone number and it always goes to the answering machine. He didn’t answer my last message. Anyway, I had to move the next day and couldn’t call him back immediately. Then, I realized, this is the second time he has called to say he is removing us from his calendar because we didn’t get in touch with him even though we had indeed called him. It seems like an honest mistake on his part and I’m not angry, but I am panicking about what to do. He was only charging us $350. Most officiants in NYC charge over $1,200 for a wedding ceremony. It is too late to find someone else.
I am about to graduate from grad school in another state and my fiance is in Europe on a business trip until 3 days before our wedding, so we literaly can’t make it down to city hall before the wedding to get married. Our plan is to have my fiance’s stepfather get ordained online and marry us. Time is running out and I don’t know what to do. My wedding is in 5 days and I am panicking. Any advice?
Post # 3
Member
11265 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@tani139: did you not have a contract and deposit made? can you email him or call him to let him know that he is still needed?
Post # 4
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
@tani139: I dont understand why you need to keep in contact with him? Maybe the week before you’re supposed to discuss a timeline. Do you not have a contract?
Post # 5
Member
4437 posts
Honey bee
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@tani139: Thats BS, you HAD called him. If he’s pulled this before try calling him again, CONTINUALLY until you get to talk to HIM to straighten this out.
If that fails, just have a family member go through the ceremony you planned on doing with your officiant and make it official at a court house later.
Does your contract state that in the event he is unavailable at last minute he will find a replacement? I would ask for those people’s information from him.
Post # 6
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
i know that this is crazy, but could a friend get ordained online and perform the ceremony??
Post # 7
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
@tani139: As others have asked, do you have a contract with this man? I am confused as to why you needed to touch base with him regularly to ensure he holds the date. If you had an agreement, then you should be good to go.
All else fails, have your family member marry you. It might turn out better than you expected! I mean, he will know you two and your relationship better than this officiant, and be able to really add some heartwarming and sentimantal words to the day. We’re having a dear friend marry us, and we couldn’t be happier.
Post # 8
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
@tani139: does anyone in your family belong to a local church or other house of worship? You may be able to get a pastor to come out if they have a relationship with someone in your family or your FIs family. Worth asking around.
Post # 9
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@tani139: This is very strange. After we “confirmed” our officiant we didn’t talk for months. That goes for many of my vendors. I find it crazy that a professional would cancel the week of with talking to you first. Just because he has removed you from his calendar have you in fact talked with him? He may still be available.
Do you have wedding insurance? I do believe this may be covered especially with the pricing difference.
Post # 10
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
It’s not too late. There are plenty of officiants in NYC who will do weddings last-minute, though I doubt you’ll find one that cheap. Look on The Knot. They have a list. I have one in NYC, and he mentioned that he often does weddings with very short notice – but he’s charging us $600.
Post # 11
Member
8682 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@tani139: try Mitch Maged aka Mitch the minister. He is in north NJ and only $100 more.
Post # 12
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
Thanks for all of the advice. Unfortunately, I’m an idiot and we didn’t have a contract. He was the officiant for my MOH’s wedding, and is a friend of their family. Luckily, I hadn’t given him any money yet either. We had my fiance’s stepfather get ordained online and he will perform the ceremony. We are happy about having him perform the ceremony, but hopefully my situation will serve as an important lesson to all – get a contract from your officiant just like you would with your DJ/photographer/florist!
Post # 13
Member
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@tani139: I’m glad you found someone! Our Pastor just had a small bleed near his brain (on Saturday), and we had to find a new pastor for our wedding on THIS Saturday!
Post # 14
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
If push comes to shove, have someone (relative, friend, etc…) “marry” you, but not officially, and then go to City Hall sometime the next week and then get “officially” married by the justice of the peace. I believe many celebrities do this.
Another option is to call any of the judges up where you live. Judges actually come out to marry people as well, and they charge around $300 or so.