Post # 1
Ok so heres the problem. My fiance and I are running off/inviting some people to go to Culebra Puerto Rico with us to get married. We don’t really care if anyone goes with us or not…and our Maid/Matron of Honor and best man know that if they go..they have to take care of their own expenses. We are going to do a dinner reception at a local restaurant but our closest friends that we do know are going understand that everyone covers their own bill. We do however want to let a few members of the family know that we are going down their to get married, if they want to go we would love to have them..but..I don’t want them getting the wrong impression that everything will be taken care of. I will do nice welcome bags for whoever ends up going and a few other little things but lodging, transportation and dinner we will not be paying for.
We have a lot of friends and some family that would just love a good excuse to take a vacation…and we want to send invites/announcements and save the dates..but how can I do it so people know that hey..you don’t have to come..but if you want to take a vacation..we’re getting married..and we’d love to have you. I don’t want to be tacky about it. We’re basically running off and saying….if anyone wants to come…then come on down! haha
What should I do? I don’t want to come off rude or tacky..but I do want people to know that they do have the option of coming along if they want. How should I word things?
All I told my fiance that I wanted for my wedding was a pretty locale, him and a pretty dress =) Other than that…I’m okay lol
Post # 3
I hope this doesn’t offend you (not my intention!) but I don’t really think that there is a nice way to explain on an invitation that you are invited to go to a wedding but that you are expected to pay for your own bill.
In that case, I would probably skip the formal invites, and just talk to your closest friends/family and explain the situation, just like you wrote it here.
Post # 4
No offense taken. I think you’re right. I think I will skip the formal invites. We’re having a big after wedding reception back home that I’ll send formal invites out for because we will be taking care of everything there. In all honesty I wish we would of just eloped…..we just wanted it to be us and our closest friends who like to travel. We got engaged there and there was about 9 of us that went..and they all wanna go again just to revisit the place and attend…which is fine..but as soon as family started finding out..they wanna go. It has put a lot of unwanted pressure on it.
Should of just eloped lol Thanks for the advice
Post # 5
I’ve been invited to 2 destination weddings, and I always assume that I cover my own expense. For one of them, it was sent via email, but it was sincere and from the heart. They essentially invited us to join them in the Carribean and also to see them get married. They outlined the price of everything up front and then said we understand any and all responses ranging from “we’ll see you there!” to “too pricey, but we send our congrats!” and that they would be thinking of us on their special day.
If you’re inviting close friends and family to your Destination Wedding, they should know you well enough that if you invite them and tell them what you are doing, they will totally understand. Just be up front!
Post # 6
All formal parties begin with written invitations using the stilted third-person language that goes “Mrs Hostess / requests the pleasure of the company of ” and so-on. Nowadays, the only “formal” parties most people have been to are weddings, so they (wrongly) assume that all wedding invitations use traditional third-person language.
The few remaining social hostesses who actually hold parties, both formal and otherwise, bite their tongues and restrict themselves to some private eye-rolling when they get one of these super-formal invitations, for a wedding that the bride herself proclaims to be “casual and off-beat”. There is an alternative: the ordinary note, written in natural language. Natural language allows you scope for tact, so that you can explain things that wouldn’t fly in a formal note.
Here is what you write:
Dear Auntie Aspasia
Fabio and I have decided to elope in Culebra Puerto Rico next May 5th. It’s not a big secret, though. We wanted you to know, so that if you happen to be vacationing there at the time, you can attend the ceremony. It will be on the beach at the Culebra Drive Resort. Fabio and I are going to have our first meal together as husband and wife at Mamacita’s — it’s a big place and I think some of our other friends who will be on Culebra at the time will be having dinner there too. If you do happen to be on Culebra at the time, I can certainly recommend the restaurant to you! Just a thought: I know you enjoy travelling, but I know you’ll wish us the best even if you are still back in Lake Wobegon.
For your more modern up-to-date friends, you send all that onerous verbiage via email, or even a Facebook private message. Just make sure that you change the Dear So-and-so line with each cut-and-paste so that it looks personal. The wording invites them only to the ceremony, which is the bit that doesn’t cost you anything. For the rest, you are just letting them know your plans, and letting them know that you don’t mind their “crashing” your elopement.
The downside is, that you don’t get to control the timelines and focus of the “reception” as you could if you were a real hostess. You cannot have a Master of Ceremonies announcing speeches and calling for toasts and first dances. You’re going to have to just take things as they come, and let the events unfold naturally, as strikes the fancy of your fellow-diners. On the upside, the most enjoyable social events are often the ones that are NOT stage-managed.
Post # 7
Thanks to everyone who replied..especially aspasia! This has helped me a lot! I feel like I have a much better idea of what I am going to do now! I’m not sure how all you ladies that have big weddings do it! I am just trying to run off to the Carribean and get married with a few close friends..and I am still stressed! lol
Thanks again…next step..getting my pretty dress! =)