- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Hello everyone! I’m new to this site but I’ve been feeling my way around and recently a big issue came up that I would like to hear from others about. I have been in a long distance relationship with the love of my life for two years, very much two and a half. She lives in Washington and I live in Iowa (I’m young, disabled but currently wanted to pursue part time neonatal nursing). She’s older, but hasn’t yet left home and her family is so close, that I’ve made the decision to relocate to Washington (state) so we can start a life there.
We truly believe we’re soulmates, and I cannot imagine a future without her. We complete each other in all ways and though our insecurities have clashed online, in person things just seem to naturally all fall into place. I know I want to live with her, wherever she might be (that’s home to me) – I am close to my family but I live an hour away from most of them already. They feel though because of my disabilities that it’s not possible to move (I use a wheelchair part of the time, have an autoimmune disease ((which by fiance shares and understands)), I have a heart condition and peripheral neuropathy as well as TMJ and frequent tension headaches). They’ve put me through a number of guilt trips and now I feel like its selfish for leaving. But though we are close and I’ll miss them terribly, it doesn’t feel like a functional and stable place to start a family (we plan to have children in a few years). It feels like no one is going anywhere in this family, I don’t see them often though they do help me once a week with my apartment.
I am worried about my Toy Poodle, who is extroadinarly close to them and vice versa. He’s older but I know dogs are so much more adaptable than us humans! I feel within my heart this is the right thing to do – I’m just terrified/anxious/nervous/exhilirated/excited to start our new life – and these guilt trips are not helping from my family! They frequently say Amber (my fiance) will just leave me so there’s no point. Which doesn’t help our relationship any! Or my fears that my disability WILL be too much for her (even though she’s a loving cook, a caretaker, a compassionate and strong woman – who hasn’t given up on me yet). Despite my issues – I’m also autisitc! She’s always been there and now we just want to be happy. Is this wrong for me to do? It feels way worse taking Amber from her close knit family! Her mother and father raised her and mine split up years ago. My whole family is better than they ever were but it’s not nearly as joined as hers. I just want us to have a happy life and where I live does not feel like it.
Any words would be welcome!