Post # 1
On March 5th, my best friend tragically past away.. Well my wedding is in 15 days… I have chatted with her family about a subtle respectful way to have her commemorated at the wedding, without a speech because i cant talk about it without crying like a blubbering baby. Which no one can understand. And we also dont want to turn the night to sad even thought its going to be hard.
Anyways. We are doing a picture wall, and beside that we will have a beautiful round table covered in lace with her Bridesmaid or Best Man Bouquet, and a photo of her. I was thinking to have a smaller frame with some words in it. Now what? Should I do a poem about love for a friend (again trying to keep it beautiful and less funeral like) or should i have words in there about our friendship and her being at peace?
Or should i leave the words out? We are doing a walk in her honor on June 8th and have raised almost 10k in her honor, so maybe i could have the donation information there too or instead?
What do you think?
<br />I had posted previously about how to commemorate this at the wedding, and had some fantastic ideas. I will be doing this and having a picture charm on my bouquet to have her with me every step of the way. xo
Post # 2
Nikkimcq: I think just the table with her bouquet and the info for donations for the walk would be best.
Simple, but lovely (and not funeral like)
Post # 3
MichiganGirl24: Thank you so much 🙂 I agree.
Post # 4
Nikkimcq: I just wanted to say I’m sorry for your loss. I totally understand breaking into tears when you talk about her, and I don’t undertsnad how anyone could make you feel that’s not normal. It is totally normal to be emotional when the thought of her comes to mind. It will for some time. Gradually, over time, your heart will replace the hurt with good memories of her and the pain will lessen.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. As for how to remember her, I agree with the previous post – keep it nice and simple.
Also, one thing that I did to make me feel closer to my grandpa, the day after the wedding I brought my wedding bouquet to his grave. That way it felt like he got to share it with me at least a little bit. If your friend is resting somewhere nearby, perhaps you could bring her bouquet to her the day after your wedding?
Post # 6
julies1949: Thanks for your words. I am so lucky to have an understanding and supportive family. I just dont want to cross that fine line of doing too much? Not that there could ever be too much for her. I guess more so, it being too much for me. I want to be happy emotional on this day and the mere thought is clearly stil so painful I dont want to make it harder for me and her family on the day.
Post # 7
eocenia: Oh my word this is a beautiful thought!! Instantly brought tears to my eyes. I would love to do this, but unfortunately not possible she doesnt have a memorial site 🙁
Post # 8
Nikkimcq: Well, I think you’re doing the right thing trying to maintain a balance. It really is a very delicate situation. In my case, I initially planned to bring my bouquet to grandpa directly after the ceremony, but grandma asked me to hold off until the day after – just because she was afraid I would get too sad. I decided to do this partly out of respect for her, but also for the other guests. I think I would have been able to keep it together, but there are no guarantees when it comes to missing our loved ones and I didn’t want to burden everyone else with my grief.
So, while I full heartedly support commemorating loved ones, I think it’s important to keep it relatively simple, in the sense that our loved ones would have wanted us to be happy on our wedding day. Remember them, but not mourn, if that makes sense. We also added a line to our ceremony programs; I’ll attach a photo in case you’re interested:
It reads: We remember… Regretfully, some of our loved ones are no longer with us. You are here in our hearts, now and forever.
Post # 9
Nikkimcq: I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I too lost a best friend (It will be 2 years in August). It was very sudden and unexpected. I think the table idea sounds lovely. I had a woman on etsy make a “charm” with a picture of her that I am going to attach to my bouquet so she is with me as I walk down the aisle. Again, hugs to you and I know what you are going through.