(Closed) Help Needed! Catholic marrying non catholic..how to combine?!

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@dupler42:  Is your fiance a practicing Catholic, and does it matter to him to be in “good standing” with the Catholic church?

Unfortunately, this is going to pose some problems with the plans you are describing. For Catholics, we have a responsibility to marry within the Catholic church before a priest. Exceptions are rare, and you have to make arrangements ahead of time with the bishop in your diocese. If this is important to you and your Fiance, you should make an appointment to talk with someone now to get the ball rolling. If you marry outside of the church, Fiance needs to know that you would have to get the marriage convalidated (blessed by a priest) before he can receive Communion.

Post # 4
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

im catholic getting marrieed with a non catholic we are having a catholic ceremony.

if is possible i suggested if you both can go to catholic mass and to your church mass and compare, im pretty sure you can meet people or ask about most common traditions in a wedding because i know that depends on the culture of the groom or bride.

here is an interesting website im using myself and can give you some info

http://www.catholicbrides.com/catholic-information/planning-your-catholic-ceremony/which-rite-is-right-for-us

http://www.catholicbrides.com/catholic-information/planning-your-catholic-ceremony/wedding-customs-traditions-and-superstitions

 

hope this info help you, if you need more let me know.

Post # 5
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KCKnd2:  Ditto!  //  If your Fiance wants to be in good standing with the Catholic church, you would need to meet with a priest (or deacon or bishop) about your interfaith relationship.  I’m Catholic and my Fiance is an atheist.  We still needed to go through Pre Cana classes before the priest will marry us (or convalidate our marriage if we decided to have a ceremony outside of church). 

Post # 6
Member
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

@dupler42:  I would contact a local priest, or a priest in the church where your Fiance attends, or used to attend, or was baptized. 

They keep all Catholic records of baptism, first communion, confirmation, etc in the church where said person is baptized, even if the other events take place at other parishes — I speak from experience.  So it might be easier to start there where someone can access his records.

I am a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic in a Catholic church, so I can’t really help you too much.  But I know that we had to fill out a form for my non-Catholic Fiance to get married in the church.  Maybe there’s a form for the other way around (your scenario)?

 

Post # 7
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m afraid a non-denominational preacher can’t do anything to make the ceremony more Catholic. Do you just want some Catholic elements, or do you want a wedding that is considered valid in both religions?

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

There are some good resources at togetherforlifeonline.com – mainly directed at Catholic couples and/or mixed couples marrying in a Catholic ceremony, but there will be useful information there for you as well.

I realized after rereading my earlier post that a little more context would probably have been helpful to you … first of all, it’s really great that you and your Fiance seem to be in agreement about what you want to do for your wedding, and it’s awesome that you are looking for ways to incorporate his traditions. The reason why it would put him out of good standing as a Catholic to marry in a non-denominational ceremony is that Catholicism regards marriage as a sacrament (this is different from how, say, Lutheranism and other Christian traditions view marriage.)

There are seven sacraments in Catholicism. Three (Baptism, Eucharist/Communion and Confirmation) are “sacraments of initiation” that every Catholic is supposed to receive. Children generally receive them one-at-a-time, adults who join the Church receive them all at once. Reconciliation (aka confession) and Anointing of the Sick/Last Rites are sacraments you receive on an “as-needed” basis. Matrimony is one of the “optional” sacraments, like Holy Orders, that only some people receive depending on their vocation. But, for Catholics, if you are “called to marriage,” it is seen as a vocation and you are called to marry within the Church, even if you are not marrying a fellow Catholic.

So, if your Fiance chooses to marry outside the Church, it is seen as a choice to separate himself from the Sacraments, and it means that he can’t receive Communion (or any of the others, but Communion is generally the only relevant one) until he resolves the issue by having the marriage convalidated (blessed by a priest). If you are open to changing your plans and having a Catholic wedding, you might be able to do so (but your timeline is pretty tight; usually you need a minimum of 6 months lead time to get through marriage prep, etc. Under the circumstances, though, a priest might be able to help you get it done faster.) Alternatively, if you wish to go ahead with your original plans, your best option might be to make arrangements to have the marriage convalidated ASAP after the wedding.

My best recommendation would be to find a priest, someone you feel is a good listener and someone you feel comfortable talking to, and go over things with him. Try to approach him as a potential ally, rather than an obstacle, because having a priest on your side will go a long way toward streamlining the process, whatever avenue you end up choosing. Best of luck to you!

Post # 9
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well to be honest the main thing here is the fact it is in a church. However a Catholic ceremony without mass layout can me found at the knot.com

Post # 10
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yeah, this isn’t like how some people throw a few jewish traditions like wearing a yamaka or stepping on a glass. 

Catholic wedding traditions aren’t all that different from any Christian wedding ceremony, there isn’t any outward differences….the most important differences are that Catholics beleive marriage is a sacrament between two baptized persons, and also communion is often taking after the marriage rite. These aren’t things you can dupliate outside of a true Catholic wedding mass. 

 

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