(Closed) Help needed – my fiance tried to cheat on me but couldn't go through with it.

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 76
Member
7994 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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calliekalico2 :  What the actual f*ck? 

I don’t know what awful experiences you have had that led you to believe that 99% cheat but it’s not the case. 

Post # 77
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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calliekalico2 :  this is the actual worst response I’ve ever read on the bee…and that’s saying something. 

You go ahead and cheat/get cheated on, the rest of us can enjoy being in the ‘1%’ 🙄

Post # 78
Member
10985 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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calliekalico2 :  

Do you have a source for those stats?

Post # 79
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

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calliekalico2 :  oh I do love a made up stat! Why 1% who don’t cheat? Why not just go the whole hog and call it 0% ?!

Post # 80
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

im so sorry to hear you’ve gone through all this just before your wedding. If I were you, in that situation, I would cease all wedding planning and have a good think about whether you want to start your married life with someone who disrespected you. If you can forgive then your more forgiving than me, but what he did was dishonest and your clearly upset and hurt. Hope this helps. x

Post # 81
Member
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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calliekalico2 :  not many people want the kind of marriage you are describing. Also, your numbers are wrong. I googled this and found 1 in 5 (22%) think about cheating. Which considering the divorce rate seems more believable than 99%. Also you should have learned in grade school that 2 wrongs do not equal a right. Someone cheating on you doesn’t give you some kind of a pass. 

Post # 83
Member
35 posts
Newbee

Not everyone cheats but I can’t help thinking everyone does lie. White lie, lie to save someone’s feelings, lie of omission, whatever. We start lying when we’re children. You could look at lying as a form of emotional cheating if you wanted to get into the minutiae of it. We all betray at some point for some reason or another.

I say that to say even if she ditches this guy the chances she meets someone perfect in the betrayal department are zero. She could meet someone who’d value her more, try harder and not be so awful right out the box, yes, that outlook is good, but that person too will inevitably let her down. We have to be realistic. Men are human. They’re all going to be disappointing in new and creative ways eventually. And of course women have that same potential.

So… let’s not expect perfection… just contemplate the degree of the crime, case by case the potential of the person involved, and how much we’re willing to endure. Because face it, true love or not, best friend or not, we’re all going to be enduring at some point by the end. I love my husband and we’ve been married a long time. I wouldn’t trade him for anything but there are some days I wonder what in the world I was thinking. lol 

Post # 84
Member
11360 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Whoever tells you that 99% of people cheat is projecting their own choices onto everyone else. 

they’re doing that for a reason. 

And that reason is because it makes them feel better about their choice to do this or accept it. 

Post # 85
Member
490 posts
Helper bee

  show this guy the front door. End it.

Post # 86
Member
490 posts
Helper bee

 Please put an end to this relationship.

Post # 87
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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bluegal04 :  I hate to say this but… I’d leave him. He would have done it. He tried. He tried! This would be a dealbreaker for me no matter what.

The porn addiction is another issue on its own but kind of a moot point.

Post # 88
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee

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bluegal04 :  

You don’t marry him. Period. 

A man who gave his number to another woman with the intention of chatting with her, or even going out with her without telling you is a slim bag in my eyes.

No man with good intentions/ or one who loves his wife or wife to be would do that. 

The issue with this is that the oppertunity was there and he RAN for it. Shady all the way around.

Post # 89
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee

 It sounds to me that he would have cheated earlier  (I consider what he did cheating) but nobody flirted with him/ found him attractive. You said that he was surprised somebody young and attractive liked him? 

I’d call off the wedding. Porn and sex addiction is serious and he will most likely start paying for sex since he calls having sex with somebody else a “last hurrah.” That makes it sound like he thinks your sex life is bland (not your fault, it is his sex addiction!) And will need more than porn to satisfy him…not that porn isn’t bad enough. 

 

Post # 90
Member
490 posts
Helper bee

There are too many good men out there. Why settle for this loser?

The topic ‘Help needed – my fiance tried to cheat on me but couldn't go through with it.’ is closed to new replies.

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