- 6 years ago
I have been with my man for 8 months, and I can confidently say that he is the one. We have discussed marriage and children, and he was planning on proposing to me on new years eve (approximately 6 months into our relationship). However, certain issues arose, and this was no longer possible. He felt that we’d gone a little too fast, and he wanted to slow down a bit and make sure I could have the proposal, and indeed the wedding, that I have dreamed of.
At the moment we both have things that complicate our situation; while he works full time, and the pay is not great. He also has four children. He is seven years older than me, and the children range from 8-1.5 years old. Eventually I will become a stepmum (of sorts) and although that initially terrified me, I’m actually coming around to it. I’ve always wanted a big family.
On my side, I was been in an abusive relationship for a year and a half, and it basically destroyed my faith in men. I’m finishing university this year, and my mother is sick. I basically do not have time or the finances (neither of us have the money, realistically) to be a fabulous blushing bride, however much I want to be.
Recently, we have begun having serious discussions again. We have talked about our children, and I was talking about a seperate issue whilst cooking him dinner, and I said,
“If we were to get married-” and he cut me off and looked upset, and said, “Don’t doubt that. We will. It’s when, not if.” When I rectified my sentence, he looked so delighted, and my stomach flipped.
I know I’m young and we haven’t been together all that long, but I have lived a lot, and I know that we are right together.
I guess what I’m asking…
Is it okay to still want to be engaged, even though realistically we couldn’t afford a wedding for 2+ years, and is it okay to plan my wedding details, so that when he does ask, I can be ready, and know what I want? Do you think I’m too young to be taking on the ‘burden’ of four children etc?