Post # 92
One more thing, if people can’t get their knickers out of a wad because OMG YOU DARED TO REQUEST SOMETHING FOR AN IMPORTANT EVENT IN YOUR LIFE, you can have the people feel out a Hurt Feelings Report: http://kristinachilds.com/pdf/Hurt-Feelings-Report.pdf
Post # 93
Sometimes I am amazed at the things people take personally and what they get offended by.
Just a few weeks ago, Fiance got a call on his cell phone from his cousin asking to speak to me. First, this is someone Fiance hasn’t spoken to in 10 years so he was super surprised by the call coming in at all, let alone asking to speak to me. I get on the phone (mind you, I’ve never ever met or spoken to this person, didn’t know they existed til this phone call) and the person starts screaming at me about how his kids are not invited to the wedding. I explained that no kids are invited, not even my 1st cousins, and it’s nothing personal. He screams that these kids are FI’s family…I say well so are all the kids on my side we didn’t invite. He screams that his kids need a babysitter….I say that FI’s father has hired a sitter for any kids at his house. He screams that his kids can’t be left with a stranger, only a direct blood relative they have already met and know….I say ‘well then I’m sorry you won’t be able to make it to the wedding.’
Basically to him it didn’t matter that it was rude (both the request and how he went about it) or that we had alternate arrangements if he wanted them, he was going to try to get his kids at the wedding no matter what (even though we have never met his kids, have no relationship with him). He thought if he kept coming up with reasons our way wouldn’t work that we would bend to his will if he kept screaming. Now Fiance and I don’t want him there either way–even if his kids can behave, he sure can’t!
Post # 94
Child-free receptions are wonderful when there is loud music that is not child friendly and alcohol involved. We had a reverse problem. We didn’t think to ban children from our wedding. Just never occurred to us and my nephew was the Bell Ringer. My cousin brought her infant son and he wouldn’t stop crying. I didn’t notice it, but she had to leave, and she was crying at the reception because she missed it. I wish I had thought to ask someone to volunteer to provide child care.
Our reception was free of alcohol and music. One on purpose, one on accident, but it was a nice down-home casual wedding and reception, and I think the kids had a great time just with the food and goodies.
Post # 95
I wanted the no kids under 10 rule for our ceremony and reception too BUT my flowergirl and ring bearer are invited to both. No family of mjne has small kids. My Fiances family has 6 kids total under 10. I do love these cousins and the kids are well behaved and Im not worried about the kids taking away our attention. I just wanted the parents to enjoy a night (well afternoon our wedding is at 1) away from the kids. My Future Mother-In-Law whom I am very close to, said I could do that but that she didnt think these cousins would attend if I said no kids. I know my fiance wanted them there. So we compromised Only those 6 kids and the 2 that are in the ceremony are allowed. The kinda good thing is, since then the one family who has 4 of the kids (ages 3-8) has gotten in a huge fight with other family members (not us) so its very possible unless they are talking in 4 months, doubtful, the family with the 4 kids might decide to stay home. I hope it doesnt happen that way because they arent mad at us.
Post # 96
@Bride7844: no way. Have a family dinner if you want family time. They are both completely out of line.
Post # 97
Tell them to put on their grown-up pants and hire a damn sitter or don’t go. As a kid I wasn’t invited to every wedding my mom and dad went to and they managed just fine and frankly as a kid I didn’t want to go. Weddings are boring for kids.
Post # 98
I don’t get your siblings’ excuses. Their children are TOO young to even enjoy the wedding! They will probably be fussy, bored, overwhelmed by the people and noise, etc.
Even the ceremony. I once attended a wedding where two couples brought their one-year-olds. I couldn’t even hear half the ceremony because I sat right in front of them and the children kept fussing and crying.
Post # 99
I remember being a flower girl at age 5 and swinging from one leg to the other because I was so bored in front of everyone (they made us stand out the front with the bride and groom through the whole one hour Catholic ceremony. Weddings and kids are not a good mix. We are still in discussions about whether to have them there or not.