(Closed) HELP! Not Having a Maid of Honor

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A lot of people don’t. I have 6 BMs and no Maid/Matron of Honor. Not all my BMs knew each other before we went dress shopping but we set up a facebook chat for all of us and they formed some really great friendships that I didn’t even expect. I’m planning to divide the typical Maid/Matron of Honor duties among them, but I’ll figure that out closer to the wedding.

Post # 4
46647 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just hand your bouquet to the Bridesmaid or Best Man who will stand closest to you. She can do all the other Maid/Matron of Honor duties that you mentioned. They really aren’t any big deal. Your mom can be your witness, as you said.

Post # 5
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just so you know I”m not having a maid of honor either becasue i could decide between my 4 girls and I didn’t want to offend anyone either. With all of the other stuff just have either your mother, family or your bridemaids do it! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i’m having six bridesmaids and no maid of honor- do what works for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I didn’t pick one for mostly the same reason. I like each for their own reasons, why compare? ๐Ÿ™‚


I made sure I got all of them connected (two were friends already) via facebook. They schemed to do something for our bachelorette time (picked up cake balls, perfect for me!) and I ordered them for the processional in terms of height in the heels they were going to wear so we could have a definitive order. The Best Man (DH’s brother) had both rings and the Bridesmaid or Best Man closest to me fixed my trail and held the “mondo bouquet” as they called it.


I don’t remember PA’s requirements but in TX I didn’t even need a witness beyond the officiant. And if so I was going to have my brother sign since Darling Husband would have had his brother sign for him.

Post # 8
26 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m so happy to see this post!  I don’t think I want a Maid/Matron of Honor because my sister and I aren’t that close and my friend who I would want as Maid/Matron of Honor is planning to start a family next year so I’d hate to impose Maid/Matron of Honor duty on her.  I think I’d just assign certain duties to each girl based on what I think would interest them and what they’d be good at.  Also all of my prospective BMs (haven’t asked them yet) live in different states so I don’t expect them to be able to do as much and travel for a shower, bachelorette AND the wedding… so why not do things a little differently all around?  

Side question: should I still ask my friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, or is it better to ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and then elevate her status to Maid/Matron of Honor depending on how things work out for her next year with starting a family?  Not sure what’s appropriate on that one…

Post # 10
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I haven’t and won’t pick on. My best friend now lives in the same city as me. And works with me. My best friend from when I was 4 lives an hour away, and it’s not fair for her to be so far away, and have all these jobs. And my sister lives 2 hours away, so no Maid/Matron of Honor here for me.

Post # 11
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with you i dont feel its my bm or Maid/Matron of Honor responsibility to throw me parties! but that ish is important to a lot of girls! whatevr, i personally dont care and when I ask my bm and Maid/Matron of Honor i will tell them not to worry about those traditional roles. I am a grown woman, not 20, totally over it! It is YOUR wedding, you can have whatever you want!!!

Post # 12
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor either… just 4 bridesmaids =)

Post # 13
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

just chiming in on the other side:

things tend to run a lot more smoothly when someone is “in charge”. i am currently in a bridal party with no Maid/Matron of Honor and while i totally get WHY she didnt choose one (2 of us are childhood bffs-no way to pick one without hurting the other in her eyes) i have found myself wishing off and on that she would have picked ANYONE just to speed things along. even small stuff like shower invitations went from a simple choice to a chain of 57 emails (no lie!!) debating possible choices.

6 women with 6 different styles from different stages of the bride’s life, all on some level wanting to own a bit of the “best bridesmaid ever” title has made things a LOT more complicated!

Post # 14
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am not picking an Maid/Matron of Honor either, and I asked about it here too ๐Ÿ™‚ http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/no-moh-2

I figure I can have the jobs split up between a few people really.  And my mom is planning my shower with help from whoever wants to help, but she’s in charge.  It’s mostly the day-off stuff I’ll split up, witness, speech, holding bouquet, etc.

Post # 15
610 posts
Busy bee

My sisters will be my bridesmaids and I can’t pick one of them over the other, that’s for damn sure! I’m expecting that since they both live out-of-province and because they’re younger, my mom will kinda step up as a behind-the-scenes Maid/Matron of Honor and help my sisters with bridesmaid stuff.

Post # 16
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor either. And the only thing I’m unsure about at the moment is who will give a speech at the reception. I think I may ask them as a whole if someone would prefer to give a speech.

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