- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I have been friends with this girl for 9 years. Since we were about 16. She is now 26 and hasn’t changed a bit. Her immaturity levels are starting to kill me.I’ll try to make it short.
She will only talk if shes complaining – she’s never happy, and if anyone offers advice to try to fix each situation she will turn down every suggestion. As if she WANTS to be unhappy. She works under the table and collects unemployment, is in great health and shape, has a brand new car, tons of guys wanting her all the time (theyre never good enough), a fantastic family, no student loans, two cats, wonderful talents, a beautiful life many of us dont have. I never hear her say ANYTHING positive in the last few years, and she makes me, too, feel negative when im around her.She will ask to hang out so we can “whine” together.
But then we can only talk about her, and she especially refuses to talk about my wedding, she’ll just change the subject, if its a whine i have, or if i am happy abotu something, and it really hurts me. (she’s not in the party, we are only havine one attendant each). The hour after i told her we were engaged her facebook blew up with status’ such as “Jealousy is my one downfall” and “I wish not EVERYONE was happy”. But she has never said anyting nasty to my face, she could have just talked to me about her feelings.
She is just draining and dramatic. She constantly texts baout her “crappy” life, and If i say im busy a night she wants to hang out, or if i dont text her back at 1am, she calls me a brat. She doesnt understand that an adult friendship does not rely on constantly seeing eachother. She needs tons of attention, and complains to me about how her other friends are shitty, when really theyre just fine.
I feel guilty because of this, like all she does is complain and says she has nobody , and then now i want to get rid of her. but i dont know what else to do. i just dont have time for someone who doesnt care about my life in return, or a friend who needs constant attention while im workign on my career and future family.
I have tried to slowly break down communication and let us “fade” away but her constant contact makes it hard. she doesnt take excuses (or good reasons either), she says “call in to work” or “you can see your mom tomorrow” or “PLEASEEEE ive had a horrible day”. she will literally text the same thing over and over until i respond. She didn’t speak to me for 6 months once because i missed her birthday party ( i asked her if i could go on the date and she said yes, and we ended up getting back late – this is when i met my future husband!!!!). i should have let our friendship slip at that time, but i missed all the good things about her and started it back up.
We used to have a lot in common and have fun together, and talk about life and our men and be happy, but now when i see her i lose all energy and am always dissapointed. I come home to my FH grumpy which is horrible, when friends should be refreshing.
I dont know what to do, anyone have a similar situation before?
How do i gracefully let go of such an old friend. The backlash is going to be great (image her facebook wall after that) and I am worried about guilt and having her spread nasty things about me. Im aslo just kind of awkard and sad cuz its been so long.
Please help ladies!!!