(Closed) Help on formal invitation addressing? Thanks!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

That is not considered "acceptable." Although, my family and I are of the same feelings while my FILS were not. We went with Mr. and Mrs. John Smith for those who preferred and John and Jane Smith for those who did not.

Post # 4
82 posts
Worker bee

The (old-fashioned, arguably lame) rule is that you never "seperate" the man’s first and last names.  So, if you wanted, it’d be a little better to put Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith.

Post # 5
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

I wrote a post that probably won’t help you, but has a few good resources linked in it. http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/06/22/horrorifics/

 I personally think that a woman shouldn’t have to be known by her husband’s name alone – and Emily Post agrees! She says it’s alright to address each half of the couple.


good luck!

I also linked the crane blue book and a few helpful practical wedding posts in there.

Post # 6
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception

I agree with the others. This doesn’t really work. It kinda makes the man look like he has no last name.

I like John and Jane Smith.


Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith

Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith (woman’s name is always first when listed separately).

Check out this post on A Practical Wedding for help:


I hope this helps! This is a tricky topic.

Post # 8
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I put both my mother’s name and my fmil’s name on my invitation. Then the calligrapher charged extra to include female names for addressing the invitations and I folded. 🙁 I just went the other way because of economy. That’s wrong, I know. It’s time to modernize it up. I should have started with my calligrapher who charged extra for that and threw a fit. 🙁



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