(Closed) Help!! Over guest limit mil drama

posted 6 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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bwessel22:  WTF??

Your Mother-In-Law is a piece. of. work. Not only did she invite 75–75!–people that weren’t her call to invite, but she did it knowingly behind your back (probably knowing you’d say no), cost you what, roughly $500 in invitations, and as a result, you are overinvited by 75 people? 

No. 

Either SHE has to agree to pay the expense while you renegotiate your contract with the venue (if it can hold 600 people, then they probably CAN seat 600, but you may need to pony up an extra cost and/or use an outside vendor). 

OR, and I really mean this, YOU or Fiance (not her!) tell Mother-In-Law that you are going to call up every single person she invited and politely explain to them what your Mother-In-Law did and you are unable to accommodate their attendance. 

You may be left with option #2 because if the venue can’t accommodate and/or the expense is too great to cover, then that’s kind of it. I think you ought to be the one to call because Mother-In-Law clearly can’t be trusted. 

Post # 17
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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BothCoasts:  I agree with that second option if the Mother-In-Law is like “No I won’t pay for them & I want them there.” That’s exactly what I would do.

Post # 18
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Yikes, I think you should make a list of all the ones that she invited and she needs to call and explain that she did it as a courtsey invitation and didn’t expect them to come and make it very clear that this had nothing to do with you it was all her fault. That is so horrible of her to do. I’m sorry you’re in this situation. Also if the venue can accomodate them then have her pay for the difference in price. maybe you can squeeze in a few extra tables.

Post # 19
Member
2056 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Wait- how many people were on your original guest list? And how many extra people did she invite?

Post # 20
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

So you’ve already had 278 guests RSVP yes? or just RSVP, period? If it’s yes, how many of those guests were your MIL’s additions? I would talk to your venue to see how many can be accommodated and at what cost. Then have your Fiance go to his mom and give her the option of disinviting those guests or paying the additional cost. This is if you’re open to having these people there, if not, then go straight to having your Future Mother-In-Law disinvite the guests. If she refuses, things may get really ugly.

Post # 21
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

You have 278 guests that have RSVPED YES so far? Or that’s how many people you invited and have yet to hear who all is attending? How many extras did your Future Mother-In-Law invite? 

Post # 22
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Wow. I am so sorry she did this to you, your Fiance and your wedding. What an awful thing she did. Time to start doing damage control. Discuss consequences and repercussions with the fiancé, together, and stick to your guns and lay it out there. If you do not, she will continue to walk all over you and manipulate you to do whatever she wants. 

Post # 23
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Is there any update? I’m curious as to how you would handle this.

Post # 24
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

This SUCKS!  Yeah, I guess you could either try to fit them in the venue, which might not even be an option, or she has to uninvite these people.  How incredibly ignorant and nervy!  I would also have your Fiance talk to her, on his own behalf, tell him not to make it seem like it comes from you at all.  Seriously these MILs have a way of blaming the DIL for everything.  So sorry you are gong through this.

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