(Closed) Help! Owner of My Wedding Venue is Stressing Me Out! :(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@TheBuzz103:  I’m so sorry–I’m totally with her! If I ran a historic B&B, there is NO WAY I would want to risk an errant sparkler burning down or damaging my house!

Post # 4
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Honestly, not to sound harsh but you are lucky she even agreed to have the sparklers. There are many venues that won’t even allow candles. True that she should have apologized about not responding sooner but I think she was coming up with a way to accommodate you. You do not have to make sure that every sparkler is accounted for but that is why you have a wedding party and assign the job to some one else. This is her venue and you must respect the rules as any other venue. 


Wish you the best of luck, just take it easy and don’t stress. I think everything will work out! 

Post # 5
6532 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

im with the owner on this one. I wouldn’t want drunk people with sparklers running around my B&B, and honestly it seems like your vision and what the venue is willing to allow are two very different things, which should have been sorted out prior to signing any contracts. She’s got the right to not allow sparklers or DJ’s at her venue. You’ve got the right to find a venue that allows these things. But it’s kind of too late once you e signed the contract.

I don’t think you should threaten to leave bad reviews because genuinely you should have asked these questions before you signed the contract.

Post # 7
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsPocahontas:  +1

May places don’t allow candles so I’m not surprised that a historic B&B doesn’t allow sparklers. Maybe she allowed them previously and had a bad experience? I think her compromise is pretty reasonable, just assign this task to a Bridesmaid or Best Man or Groomsmen.

As for her not getting back to you, I usually e-mail once or twice and then call. She should be taking the responsibility and getting back to you but from this point on I would start following up with a phone call if it takes her too long to respond to an e-mail.

Try to stop stressing out, I’m sure it will turn out to be a great day!

Post # 8
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@TheBuzz103:  We are getting married in a century old mansion. We are not allowed sparklers, confetti, or candles that have an open flame or aren’t in water. These places need to be protected and preserved, so we understood. Plus I didn’t want to be the asshole bride whose guest burnt down the manor lol

Post # 10
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@BrandNewBride:  +1

But if she has photos of them in her advertising material what does she expect??? I don’t think you are in the wrong for asking or anything because she’s shown them being used at the venue in her advertising.

Post # 11
7225 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To put it in a technical sense, sparklers are just sticks that shoot fire. A tiny fire, yes, but those sparks are still fire. If they land on anything flammable…. fwoosh.

Add drunk people in on this stick that shoots fire and you have another dimension of pain.

I’m with the owner. Sparklers are dangerous if you have a historic site that is at risk.

Post # 12
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@sangriiia:  I would agree with you, but the sparkler exit is usually outside, not inside.

Post # 13
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@TheBuzz103:  Many venues don’t even allow exposed candle flames.  I battled out with my venue to not have to put my beautiful unity candle in an ugly hurricane vase!  I think you’re overreacting about the sparklers considering you wore her down and she said yes the rest of the hassle should be up to you to deal with.  Unresponsiveness is obnoxious but there’s not much you can do about that at this point.  As for the DJ, it’s her venue her rules. Just try and enjoy your day and don’t sweat the small stuff like that since you have very little control over it.

Post # 14
2039 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t think it’s strange that she doesn’t want sparklers. That’s how it is with many Historic Home/B&B venues. She just doesn’t want her property burned down and I don’t blame her.

Maybe you could go with a sparkler exit instead of a sparkler first dance. I’ve actually never heard of someone doing sparklers for the first dance anyway. It sounds like the people standing up would be blocking the people sitting down from seeing you and you husband dancing.

Post # 15
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@MeiFrancis:  Oops, I missed that. thought she was talking about outside. 🙂

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