- 3 years ago
Due to recent (excellent) career news for FI, we realized we could either get married this summer, or we’d have to wait two years for fall 2016, which we decided was too far off. So, this week, we sat down with our families and told them we’re getting married in 4 months (cue two excitable mothers freaking out loudly).
We met in college. His family is East Coast-based, but his parents live in the Midwest (where we are living until the end of August, and where we plan on getting married). My large, ethnic family are all in LA. His grandmother requires constant treatment for her cancer, mine requires dialysis every 3 days, etc. etc. To accomodate everyone, we came up with the following wedding plan:
1. Small ceremony with immediate family only in the Midwest, in August (well, once his mom got hold of this plan the 10 person wedding may be 20 person, but it’s still small regardless)
2. Large reception with my family and hometown friends in LA, immediately afterward
3. Intimate dinner with his mom’s family in the mid-Atlantic region a few weeks later
4. Large reception in Manhattan in the fall, for his father’s family and our college friends.
This way, we cover all our bases and we get to see everyone. We are NOT fishing for gifts (we are fortunate enough to be very well off), but merely trying to make it as easy as possible to see all our loved ones, so that they can minimize their expenses. Money is of no object to us.
So here’s the question: what kind of invitations are we sending? Do we send STDs? Do we send wedding announcements? Can we send an email to our guests to give them a choice of which one they want to attend before sending out formal invitations? How do we indicate we don’t need any kind of gifts at all? My gut reaction is something like this:
1. Ceremony–no invitation because heck, you either gave birth to me or my FI, do you really need one to show up?
2. LA reception–maybe invitation? I dunno, my large ethnic family definitely wouldn’t care if we didn’t send any, especially the older generation, but my younger cousins might be scandalized.
3. Mid-Atlantic reception–no invitation, because it’s just an intimate dinner?
4. NY reception–invitation
Also, my cousin whom I’m fairly close to is a graphic designer who could design a gorgeous invitation. However, I think she might only be going to the LA one, and I’d feel guilty asking her to design as many as four. So I could offer to pay her for her services, but then, does that insult our relationship (we grew up together)? Do I just go outside the family, and risk hurting her feelings because I didn’t ask her?
Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks so much!