(Closed) Help Planning

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My fiance was playing the same game, I ended up telling him that he’s no longer allowed an opinion on anything he doesn’t plan to help me with. Its been really helpful because now either he helps me with things or he just says yes 🙂

Post # 5
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ha!  Men can be so difficult sometimes.  My fiance was kindof similar. I was trying to find a reception venue in our hometown that could fit all our guests.  I kept asking him questions and he was like “i don’t care”  so then I take him along to my top 3 choices and he hates them all!!!

So I start all over looking at different venues and he gives me some input.  But the place he wanted me to put money down on before visiting he really didn’t like when we were there.  Luckily I stood up for my favorite spot which he ended up loving and it all worked out. 

But long story short, even when he’s involved he flip-flops so I’ve just decided I have an indecisive fiance and leave him out of most of the little details.

I do have him helping me with the DJ, planning the honeymoon, and going to the food tastings.  Those are the only things he really cares enough to want to help decide.  Oh- and for some reason he wanted to pick the first dance so that’s all him.  How cute is that?!?

Post # 6
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

HA! Me too!  This wedding thing, its not all for men, but they can have some opinion.  SOmethings, like decorations, he is like “Why do we have to have that?” That is when I stand my ground.  You really have to pick your battles during planning.

If you love a venue, but he doesn’t, make him see that it is perfect. Show him your research, show him the benefits of having it there etc.

Or you can also do what I have done – not tell him about every detail –  : )

Post # 7
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

My fiance has been great!

He’s taken care of the hotel block and DJ. He’s also arranging the transportation from ceremony to reception.

He’s come to all photographer meetings with me and asked a lot of questions.

He’s involved with invitation design and went with me to pick the linens.

He even went to the dahlia farm with me and was excited about finding flower colors he liked.

His godmother is our caterer, so he’s been in all our meetings with her as well.

I’m loving it because it really is “OUR” wedding and due to his involvement it will really reflect that.

Post # 8
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve planned a few weddings and it always amazes me how much the man wants to be a part of the planning.  I hope my man will give me total control over it when that time comes.  Your says now to do what you want but wait once you start telling him, oh he’ll have a say in this or that. LOL

So my advice is once you pick your place, don’t talk to much about the small details just do them.  Otherwise a fight may break out in what font or wording should be used on the invites.  Good luck.

Post # 9
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Eye Candy: Why don’t you want him to be involved? It’s his wedding too.

I vetoed my Fiance on a few things for our save the date cards, but he vetoed me on a few things for them too.

Life and relationships are all about compromise. If you start your relationship in a one sided way when your Fiance wants to be involved, what does that say for compromise for the rest of your marriage?

Post # 10
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I have been in Philadelphia while our wedding is going to be in Connecticut. My fiance has been going back and forth from CT to Philly doing a lot of stuff with my mother actually. They have been checking out things meeting with people when I couldn’t be there. He has actually been very helpful. I want to make sure he likes everything we are deciding on so it has been nice. Its funny though when he has such an opinion and his taste is terrible and I have to let him down nicely. But he has been very easy going about everything. 

Post # 12
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jenn6051: I agree with that. If he wants a say, he should be involved.

I think that’s why my Fiance has come to everything so far. He knows he might want a say, so he better be educated about it!

Post # 14
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jenn6051: Haha!

I think part of the reason he’s come to everything so far is because we’re doing a destination wedding up by where his mom lives.

So we go and visit his mom together and then he comes to all the appointments since we’re “on vacation” together anyway.

He’s also very savvy and opinionated so I know he’s good at speaking with vendors, asking the right questions, etc.

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