(Closed) Help please!

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

ALOT of rings are around that size and it isn’t tiny.  Don’t assume most women’s rings are above 1 carat, it’s rarer than you think. Have you considered an alternative white gemstone, white sapphire?  More bang for your buck and they are quite lovely!  I’d suggest looking at other types of gems as well, aquamarine and rubies…you never know what catches your eye!

Also, I don’t think you should believe you’re only worth 0.30 carat, that’s not how it goes.  Could that be all he could afford?  Quality is another possibility, maybe it’s a really good quality 0.30 rather than a 0.80 full of discoloration or flaws?

Post # 5
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m worth a 1,000,000 ct. diamond ring.  But that doesn’t mean I got one 😉

Post # 6
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I think maybe you could talk to him about how much you want a stone from 0.50-0.75 carats or you can consider an upgrade later, like on the 1st anniversary?

Post # 8
Member
14067 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

you should definately talk to him about it.  make sure he knows how you feel about it if it really means that much to you.  does he think maybe that .3 is pretty big?  are you typically a jewlery wearer?  and a flashy one that wants a a nice large stone?   its within the budget, i’d push him to get something you love now, and not push for an upgrade later… with the upgrade later route, the $ spent on the first smaller stone essentially goes down the drain since you wont want to wear that again when you have a nicer larger one, and to me, it wouldnt be as special as *the* ring he proposed with.

Post # 9
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Well, be clear if it’s very important to you.   I have a FI with perpetually blocked ear drums…nothing I say gets retained.   We were sitting down in a jewelry store and I held up a 3 stone to him and said “see this style with 3 diamonds in a row?  I DO NOT like it for myself.  Ok?   It’s a pretty ring, but I DO NOT LIKE THIS STYLE”

Welp, I sure was surprised to be proposed to with a 3 stone.   HE even said “See? I remembered you pointing it out and saying how much you liked it!”

Post # 10
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

OMG VM!  Wow.  Fiance gave me a stand in ring for now until we graduate and has a better paying job.  I disagree with pinkshoes, you can resell the diamond and some jewelers will allow you to “upgrade.”  or you can use that 0.30 diamond and have a right hand ring made or a diamond pendant made?  But yeah, if this means alot to you, talk to him.

Post # 12
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh, well yeah, I was bummed/confused.  But we realized the miscommunication and FI had it re-set for me over Christmas.  🙂 Love my ring now!  

Post # 13
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sounds to me like your guy is just balking over the true cost of diamond rings and is having a hard time justifying spending the money on what you really want. Most men are clueless as to how much they cost and get a serious case of sticker shock. If a larger stone is more your style, and you know he can afford it, you should talk to him about it, or better yet, have the sister pass the info along. She doesn’t have to tell him that she showed it to you, she can make up something like, “Oh, mr. Gluestick… Gluestick saw a ring on so-and-so that looked just like that one you showed me, and she told me she didn’t like it because it made the girl’s finger look too big in comparison…” or something.

Post # 14
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would suggest giving him pictures of ring styles you like and definitely tell him what you DON’T want ie: diamond cuts and metal color. I would also hint that you think a .50 to .75 would be just right with your hand size. You could just say you know looking at tons of rings can be overwhelming for any guy and you want to make it less stressful, then back off and let him do his thing. If he doesn’t pick up the hint I don’t know what to tell you other than upgrade on an anniversary. Hope you get what you want, good luck

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