(Closed) HELP PLEASE- For Bees in a medical related field. How long did you wait?

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 4
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

I would wait to have kids until your done Dental.  It will be WAY too much work.  A friend of mine got married in July, was pregnant by August, and was starting medical school in September, as was her husband.  

She ended up doing the first year.  Then she dropped out, and isn’t going back.  She says she couldn’t handle the baby and medical school.  She can barely handle the baby and her HUSBAND being in medical school. 

Dental is 4 years, so as long as you start right after your BSc, you should only be 26ish when you graduate, right?  (if you started university right after highschool).  Thats still plenty young to have a baby. 

Personally I’m waiting until after my Post-docs are done, which will be when I’m like 30+ lol. 

Post # 5
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I’m not on the medical field (actually, I work in a hospital, but in a management office, not in any clinical setting), and am about to marry a medical student.  We’re not planning on having kids at all, to be honest, but our hypothetical “when to have kids” discussion has determined that the smartest thing to do is to wait after he’s done with school and then with residency and fellowship.  Even though I’m the non-medical spouse, I can’t think of anything I’d want to do less than have a kid while my husband is a resident or fellow while we’re likely living in a place far away from my parents (who could help me), and not being able to always rely on or expect my husband to be able to help me out as needed (if he’s on call or at the hospital for 36 hours straight, I can’t expect him to take every-three-hour feedings or diaper changes).  I would think having a baby/toddler while you’re starting and trying to get through any professional school, let along a medical schooling, is probably not a great idea.  Either you can handle it…have the baby, start dental school, then you’ll have to be able to rely on your husband to do most of the things you may want to do (more bonding time between them, etc), but if you want to be a mom, I’d think having a baby during that time would be a pretty intense distraction and something that woudl always be more appealing than studying or worrying about clinical rotations, etc.  Plus, if anything I’ve ever hearda bout the exhaustion of having kids–espeically young kids–is true, I’d say just wait.  But, that’s my opinion. 

Post # 6
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m in nursing school and we are waiting until at least 2 years after I graduate.  A couple girls in my class just had babies and are dropping out after this semester because it’s too difficult to juggle right now.  It totally depends on you and what you think you can handle but I would definitely wait at least until you are done with dental school.  Good luck on the application πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
548 posts
Busy bee

Hey! I’m going to apply to dental school too! πŸ™‚ I wouldn’t have ’em before school, but that’s just my personal preference here (I’m not married, btw). I’m also hoping to do a residency after school, so I don’t think I’ll be having kids for a while.

I have a friend who is off to medical school next year and just had a little one. She’s 27, so she took a few years off between college and medical school, but her son was born a couple of weeks ago. She and her husband are figuring out daycare and the like right now before moving for her school.

I’ve heard it can be done, but I’m sure it’s difficult.

Post # 9
Member
402 posts
Helper bee

AFTER medical school.

Post # 10
Member
548 posts
Busy bee

@booEXcore:  Yeah, I have two very close friends who are currently in medical school, and I don’t know how people do it with kiddies running around. My friend who has her kid and is starting school in August is going to have one hell of a juggling act. I’m sure she’ll make it through, though. She’s very capable. πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would say it depends  on how old you are too. If you’re already in your 30s it might not be practical to wait another 4 years, but If you can wait until you’re done with school that’s probably ideal. I have quite a few medical school classmates who got pregnant and all of them ended up taking time off in some way-most took a semester off, others took 1-2 years. Medical school is hard. Much harder than I could have ever imagined before going in.

 

I plan on having kids during residency, because I took time off before med school and if I wait until I’m completely done I’ll likely face fertility issues.

Post # 12
Member
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think residency seems to be the easiest time. For one thing, you don’t take a huge paycut with maternity leave. It also seems easier to have other residents cover your work than find someone when you’re out practicing. On the other hand, by having kids when you’re working for real, you obviously have a lot more money saved to put towards the child. I hadn’t even met Darling Husband until a couple years into my residency, and we weren’t rushing things, so having kids during residency was out of the question for me. But many of my female classmates definitely turned into baby factories for the above reasons.

Post # 13
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m having a kiddo the last year of my residency (so i guess 4 years out of medical school)

Post # 14
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m going to PM you!

 

Post # 15
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am waiting to finish also… 4 more months to go!! We waited to get married to πŸ™‚ You should wait.. because is HARD girl! Every friend who got preagnant during medical school dropped out…

Post # 16
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I belong to a women’s only group at my medical school, and we had a meeting a few months ago where women who had babies all throughout their medical careers came in and talked to us about the pros/cons.  Number one take home message from the whole ordeal is no matter where you are in your medical training, having a kid will never really be convenient.  I would say to try to at least get a year of school under your belt to see how you handle it, then maybe go from there.  Since the 4th year of medical school at my school is pretty much cake, I would really like to TTC my third year and have a baby 4th year, we get a month off anyways and it isn’t too difficult to rearrange our rotations around (if it plays out to be that easy, I would be very surprised haha).  Me and my fiancee kind of agree that we don’t want to wait forever to have kids (even though we are both pretty young–We will be 23 when we get married), because 1) I am absolutely terrified of waiting too long then not being able to conceive–many women in the medical field wait and the gals that came in and talked to us said a lot of their friends that waited until 30+ were really struggling; and 2) we would kind of like to “get kids out of they way” if you will, so that way when we are older and the kids are out of the house, we will still be young enough and have the energy to still enjoy ourselves and our adult children. Plus–it really isn’t that big of a deal to have a little baby when you are young & broke, kids get really expensive the older they get, so we aren’t worried too much about finances.  There are all ages and walks in my class, people who are older than 30 and already have their families established, a girl who got pregnant and is due this summer before our 2nd year, and guys whose wives had or are going to have kids soon.  Once again, it is never “convenient” to have a baby when you are in the medical field, so I wouldn’t worry too much about when the perfect time is.  Whenever you are ready, I say just go for it πŸ™‚ 

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