- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
So this post will probably be long. I apologize in advance. I hope I can explain things well.
DH and I got into a fight yesterday. It all started when I did not want to go 4x4ing with him.
Before I go on, let me just say that we do other things together. We go fishing, walk our dogs, watch movies, whatever. But this fight really got me wondering if we do enough together and if I am too boring for him.
DH has always been a guy who likes to keep busy, whereas I love the odd lazy day and like to relax. He has a garage that he works in, doing side jobs or working on his toys. He goes fishing with his buddies and is always out doing something.
I am more of a home body but I do like to go out, I enjoy shopping. I did a yoga class for a while. In the summer I like going to the beach or laying out on our deck.
So during this fight, I told DH that I just do not like to go fourwheeling. The machines scare me and I am always afraid of something bad happening. He told me I should face my fears and just do it, that I would have fun. Now, I have tried it before. Maybe not as much as he would like but I brought up 3 instances where I did this, more for him than anything and although it was kinda fun, it still is not something I really enjoy. I proceeded to tell him that I don’t force him to do anything that he doesn’t like to do. He then kept asking me what I like to do. He knows me lol I felt like he was just asking me this to prove that I actually don’t do much. That hurt me but the more I thought about it, the more I realized he has a point.
On the weekends, he does whatever he wants to do. At some point I do my cleaning/laundry etc. I often have a friend over and we drink wine or whatever.
So, at this point I just need a little advice. Here are some questions I have for you bees.
1. Do you and your SO/FI/DH do lots together or apart? What is a typical weekend for you guys?
2. When you have time to yourself, what do you do (besides housework) etc.
3. Do I need to buck up and start doing more? What should I do? I am not the “DIY” type. There are lots of things that I can do around the house. I have a few close friends but they have kids and are always busy.
Any ideas for hobbies or activities would be much appreciated. I am actually pretty embarassed by this whole thing. I had great childhood but we did not have a lot of money so I never did any activities or hobbies. When I was a teenager, my friends and I partied. That’s it. My husband was out riding bikes etc.
Thanks so much bees. I really need some advice. I spent the whole day yesterday feeling bad about myself 🙁 I do not want DH to resent me. It’s not like I just don’t want to do anything… I just don’t know what to do.