(Closed) HELP PLEASE! How much is an appropriate wedding gift in your opinion

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Well my first question would be what kind of destination wedding.  An international destination wedding or something else?  It seems a lot of weddings get thrown in the destination wedding category these days and that is why I am asking.

For example I am having one in Jamaica.  For this I don’t expect any gifts from my friends who are attending.  If people who are attending do ask us about gifts we let them know this.  I can tell you however that most of our friends who are attending are still giving us gifts.  I still do not expect it, at all!  If you are strapped for cash maybe ask what type of gift your friend might want, and maybe she will give you the same type of response …aka they don’t expect gifts

In general for gift giving I go by how well I know someone, and if my fiance knows them as well.  If we both know them very well the gift value goes up for me.  All of this being said though, if you are tight on money, then you are tight on money.  The most important part is that you are there for the wedding, not the gifts 🙂

Post # 4
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What would you give if it wasn’t a destination wedding? I would give the same regardless of location.

Post # 5
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think it is up to you.

But to be honest when my Maid/Matron of Honor & her husband (also GM) gave us a wedding gift (cash) we refused to take it and made them take it back. It was too much with the shower, bachelor party, shower gift and all the time and effort and support they gave us.

Post # 6
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

For a normal wedding, I give $50 if I attend by myself or $100 for a date (which would be always since I’m married now), more for a relative or very close friend.  For a very expensive destination wedding, I might give a small amount or nothing if I couldn’t afford it.

Post # 7
Member
2407 posts
Buzzing bee

We’re having a destination wedding and don’t expect guests who are attending to get us a wedding present. They’re already spending a bunch to attend, I don’t want them to feel obligated to get a gift as well. 

Have you spoken to any other bridesmaids?

Post # 8
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

A much as you can afford. I realize its destination and if your friend is as a good friend as she should be if you’re Maid/Matron of Honor I’d give as much as possible. 200-500 if you can afford to do so.

Now if she’s been greedy and ungrateful and upapprciative about how much you’ve had to spend I’d say 100 max.

Post # 9
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Whatever you can afford and want to give.  While I realize you are spending more for a Destination Wedding than normal, I don’t think that should affect the price of the gift – IF you can afford it!

I usually spend $250 for close friends.  For a recent Destination Wedding (I was not in the wedding party), I gifted less than usual: about $100 item and we spent around $2K in travel expenses.  I was feeling super strapped for cash while wedding planning, or I would have gifted like normal.

Post # 10
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If I have to drive 2-4 hours and spend a night or two in a hotel, I would usually give the same amount plus or minus $50 or so.  But I guess that is more of an out of town guest thing.

If I were going to an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean for a wedding (which would probably cost $1-$2K) I would probably just send a nominal gift and card to the couple when they return.

Post # 11
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

if it were my best friend getting married and I were the Maid/Matron of Honor.. I would give 400-500… aka AS MUCH as I can possibly give. She is my best friend after all.. If I were a regular guest I would expect to spend 100-150. Same for a Destination Wedding

Post # 12
Bee
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna

We actually asked our guests for no gifts since they travelled all the way to Mexico for us. If its a short trip I would say a small gift but nothing extreme considering your travel costs.

Post # 13
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I personally don’t expect gifts from my Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid, even though they are my sister and my FI’s sister.  They are paying for their own dresses, and I don’t want them to feel obligated to do anything more.  I would think that a lot of brides would feel this same way, so whatever you feel is appropriate would be fine.

Post # 14
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We are having a destination wedding and we don’t expect anyone to give gifts. We know they are all spending money to travel so we told them that their presence is more than enough! If you still want to give them something I am sure they would appreciate it but I wouldn’t worry about giving them a large sum of money!

Post # 15
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Wow, I’m feeling kind of cheap after reading some PP’s suggestions to give as much a $400-$500. I think that’s a lot on top of typical Maid/Matron of Honor expenses.

I would probably give $200 as long as I could afford it after all of the travel expenses. But like other PPs who had DWs, I made a point to discourage gifts because of how much our guests were spending to travel. I didn’t want them to consider the cost of a gift on top of travel expenses when deciding whether or not to attend. It was more important to me that they be there.

We still received gifts from more than half of our guests, and they ranged from $100 to $250 from friends, and up to $500-$600 from a couple of well-off family members.

Post # 16
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I WOULD NEVER accept $400 from ANY ONE of my guests….ESPECIALLY  my Maid/Matron of Honor, who has bought a dress, bought plane tickets, a hotel room, shoes, jewelry, planned a bach party.   That is INSANE!!!  

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