(Closed) Help Please ! i have a dilema!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2859 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

It sounds like you really want to ask the second girl so that’s what I’d do if I were you. Can you give the other girl a different role in the wedding? Maybe a reading at the ceremony?

Post # 4
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

why can you only have one due to money constraints?  are you expecting to pay for their dress or something? 

Post # 5
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I guess I am not understanding why you can’t ask them both. If they accept, they should be paying for their own gowns and other things.

Post # 7
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sounds to me like you kinda know who you want to invite.  I say you should go with the person you want to have in the wedding, as opposed to who you feel you should invite.  The length of the friendship shouldn’t be the determining factor.  I think you should pick your best friend!

Post # 8
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

It sounds like you want to choose the friend that you have known for a shorter time, but I agree in asking both of them! You shouldn’t be paying for them to be in the wedding, so asking both of them shouldn’t be too much of an issue unless we’re missing something.

Post # 10
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

well, ’round these parts, in Beesville, bridesmaids typically pay for their dresses.  they also provide their own shoes if it is a general request, i.e. “wear silver shoes”, but if it is more specific like, “wear these kate spade slingbacks in magenta- bride should pick up.   also, if you require hair or makeup to be professionally done, it is usually at the cost of the bride.  beyond that, though, the only cost to you would be an extra bridesmaid gift (which doesn’t have to be big and extravagant, anyways).

Post # 11
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d ask both – the only additional expense for you is one more bouquet and one more Bridesmaid or Best Man gift.  They should be paying for their dress and shoes and then you can let them do their own hair and make up so no one has that expense.

Post # 13
1765 posts
Buzzing bee


I would ask the one you really “click” with.  There are sooo many women on here that have had trouble with BMs.  I only had a Maid/Matron of Honor for my wedding cause I didn’t want someone that may not be a big part of my life later on, and someone that I could totally trust, not bring drama, that I would always be happy I chose, and would be happy seeing in my wedding photos etc.  I think it is a big decision.  If you want to have another person involved, have them do something else, like a reading.  It may save you a lot of heartache.  My daughter chose a friend that she knew that she knew she could “count” on as her Maid/Matron of Honor.  She chose others for her BMs and it worked out.  🙂

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