Post # 1
I’m in a wedding that is one week away. The bride and maid of honor decided over the last month or so to text message in a group about what was happening for the wedding. The maid of honor will say one thing then the bride steps in and says another. Yes I should be listening to the bride but then the other bridesmaids chime in and ask questions so I feel if I have a question I should ask it’s nothing of issue of problematic toward her wedding event itself. The thing is I have asked questions that I thought were relevant: “what kind of jewelry should we wear?, what do you want our hair to look like? If we pay the stylist some money for something small for our hair nothing complex would she be able to do it? “Would you be opposed to us looking up a salon nearby if we want to do an updo” Nothing aggressive just things that were not addressed by her or her maid of honor. Today I asked about a onesie to the bride as she wants the bridesmaids to wear onesies with their significant others and to do themes the day of before the actual wedding starts for fun. I said I’ll wear a Pokémon onesie but before I knew it, my husband didn’t really fit in mine because I was going to purchase another one but wanted to see if it fit first. and they are one size only the Pokémon onesies, so I asked the bride if anyone else was wearing skeleton onesies because my husband has a skeleton onesie and it fits him and I also have a skeleton one. She got really upset that I asked the question about onesies like I’m being indecisive and throwing her off. So then this is where it all starts .. I said how I felt that “I was asking questions because the onesie I have doesn’t fit him correctly, and I mentioned how I have to ask questions if no one else is asking the questions I have, and she came off and accused me of being problematic with her entire wedding since the day she announced it and said that my husband and I are “fun-suckers” because 4 years ago we went to a wedding and as the wedding was shortly ending my husband and I walked out of the hall far from the wedding and had an argument and did not do it infront of anyone (unfortunately we were going through things at the time) and the person who came over to “assist” is the bride of this wedding that I’m in. She’s saying these things to me, and I tell her she didn’t have to find us and stick around when my husband and I had our argument, when we were leaving the wedding we attended anyway but, she got herself involved.
So now something from 4 years ago she is taking and is rubbing in my face saying i ruined her time at her friends wedding in which she did not have to get involved in what happened that was her own decision.
The questions I was asking were relevant I never dissed her theme, color choices, bridesmaid dress style, etc. nothing of the sort. I’ve asked questions like the ones above as well as how do you want us to do our hair? On top of that I didn’t know about the onesies until October 4th or 5th and I last second got a black dress from a friend because the rehearsal dinner I found out was themed to wear all black which I found out two weeks ago.
No itinerary was made for this wedding for us to follow, everything has been in a group text that is completely last second and all over the place and nowhere in there prior to October does it mention onesies of black clothing for rehearsal dinner. I just want opinions because she’s making me feel like I’m a bad person, I wasn’t the only person asking questions either but, I am definitely being singled out and made to look like an a****** I KNOW it’s her day and to be there, I’m just someone who needs straight answers with exactly what they want and they can’t even give straight answers. Her responses to questions like hair have been “do whatever you want” and then changed to no “French braid for everyone.” I’m considering dropping out of this wedding right now because, I feel like why should I be in a wedding where a bride is upset with me because of the relevant questions I’m asking as well as, how she’s holding something from 4 years ago over me when she got involved on her own, calling me and my husband fun suckers when she’s been around two events with us pretty recently which were my birthday party and a summer party where my husband and I were not on that level we were 4 years ago. Just really could use some advice as this wedding is a week away and I really don’t like how I’m actually feeling like a bad person because of how she’s making me feel when I’ve done nothing wrong.
Post # 2
Well idk OP , it all sound very juvenile stuff with the onesies and name calling and whatnot. Just turn up to whatever you think you are expected to be at , wear your hair and makeup in whatever you think the bride will like , so long as it is compatible with how you want to look.
Stop worrying about looking like a ‘bad person ‘ and just maintain a bit of calm and dignity .
Post # 3
Rather than making an effort for someone who is so rude to you, tell her to stick it, drop out of the wedding and move on from her. You don’t need assholes like that in your life.
Post # 4
That was hard to read because it was basically a long run on sentence. I agree with PP that this all sounds very juvenile. Just do what the bride wants and be done with it. It sounds like you and the bride should have a separate chat together, not in a group text.
Post # 5
Honestly, the requests from the bride seem very over the top and far too much to ask of anyone. I’m very much of the belief that if someone expects another human to wear a specific outfit/hairstyle/shoes etc that requires this person to go out of their way to spend money to achieve this required look, Then the person requesting it needs to cough up the cash to pay for it instead of expecting someone else to fund their dream ideas.
Not only does the bride want you to wear a certain dress on the day of the wedding and isn’t funding it, she now wants everyone to wear a black outfit to the rehearsal and to also have them and their partner wear a matching onesie for fun! This bride sounds entitled and like too much work. I’m all for doing something on the odd occasion for people close to you even if it feels like an inconvenience but it’s another thing to something out of the ordinary for someone you are close to who doesn’t even appreciate that you are doing something for them that is a big ask and then has the cheek to be rude to you on top of the ask!! I’d pull out of the wedding and friendship for this type of behaviour from someone. Screw her…Wear your skeleton onesies at home on the couch on their wedding night and enjoy a pizza and time with your husband – who appreciates and respects you!
Post # 6
You have the right to wear your hair and makeup anyway you like and go to any salon you like as long as you’re there on time. Likewise the bride is not entitled to dictate your jewelry. By asking those questions you only opened yourself up to inappropriate demands, which is exactly what happened. But I can’t see how that would offend her.
The onesie thing is totally infantile and themed dressing on her wedding weekend is not a reasonable thing for her to require. You don’t need her permission to pass or let her know it won’t work for you.
I don’t know how bad the incident was, but a public fight in the vicinity of a friend’s wedding was definitely not OK. If she’s still holding it against you four years later I’m not sure why you are friends at all at this point. Either step down or opt out of anything you aren’t comfortable with.
Post # 7
Drama like this leading up to and during a wedding typically ends with not being friends anymore. If I were in your position I would drop out of the wedding now and save yourself the money and heartache. Do something special with your husband instead.
Post # 8
This was hard to read, you say you like direct instructions, sometimes asking too many questions elicits answers you don’t want as happened in this case. The onesie thing is ridiculous and juvenile. Next time take the brief and fill in the blanks yourself unless requested otherwise, and if the bride oversteps you can have the convo at that time one on one.
Post # 9
You lost me at onesies. Middle Schoolers shouldn’t be getting married…
Then again, having to leave a venue to argue with one’s spouse at someone else’s wedding (and even allowing someone else to witness or get involved) is equally ridiculous. Regardless of whether you attend this wedding or not, OP, please turn over a new leaf after this. Hold yourself to a higher standard and act like an adult It doesn’t even sound like you like this person (and vice versa), let alone being close enough to them to stand up in their wedding.
Post # 10
She sounds scattered and disorganized and you asking her questions probably bothers her because they aren’t things she’s had time to focus on or even really cares about and now she has to care about them on YOUR time table.
You sound high maintenance and incapable of independent thought. Just wear your hair how you like if she hasn’t specified. Do your make up how you like. No one is going to die because of how you styled your hair or if you wore pink blush instead of coral or if two people wear the same style onesie (and what the f*** is up with adults and onesies in the first place?). Does someone have to bathe and dress you like a toddler the other 364 days of the year? Is that why we’re talking about onesies? You may like being micro-managed, but not everyone likes micro-managing. Sometimes you just have to be an adult and put some critical thinking skills to work and make decisions for yourself.
All of you sound immature AF. Drop out. Don’t drop out. Whatever. None of you are going to be friends after this anyway. It doesn’t really matter.
Post # 11
I guess I’m really out if it, but the only onesies I know of are for young babies. They snap at the crotch for easy diaper changes. What on Earth is a onesie for an adult?
Post # 12
all I can think of is the thing you sleep on and it isn’t separate pants and top but rather all together
Post # 13
I would either drop out of the wedding or just do what you are going to do and don’t worry that all your questions haven’t been answered. If nobody specified jewelry then just wear your own. Do your hair how you want. The onesie thing sounds ridiculous and I would not take part in it. However if you do take part in it just wear something you already have. She does sound disorganized but you also sound overly worried about details.
You should have never had the public fight but it is rude of her to bring it up 4 years later. This friendship sounds like it has died a slow death.
Post # 14
If you’re cool with losing this friendship then I’d bail. It sounds like she has assigned three costume changes with the onsie thing, the black dress for the rehearsal plus the actual bridesmaid’s dress and that’s two outfits too many in my opinion. Your friend has watched too many wedding movies and has forgotten how real life works.
Post # 15
Not going to lie – I have two onesies and they are my absolute favourite things for ski trips or cozy days in the house haha. Mine are just plaid though and not themed or hooded. Just one piece pajamas.
OP, since the wedding is next week just get your hair done, wear the Pokemon and Skeleton onesies. I’m going to hope your friend is just super stressed out and her behaviour is uncharacteristic.