HELP! PLEASE NEED SOME ADVICE.

posted 1 month ago in Wedding Related
Post # 2
Member
10651 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
@kiki20:  

Well idk OP , it all sound very juvenile stuff with the onesies and name calling and whatnot. Just turn up to whatever you think you are expected to be at , wear your hair and makeup in whatever you think the bride will like , so long as it is compatible with how you want to look. 
 Stop worrying about looking like a ‘bad person ‘ and just maintain a bit of calm and dignity . 

Post # 3
Member
828 posts
Busy bee

Rather than making an effort for someone who is so rude to you, tell her to stick it, drop out of the wedding and move on from her. You don’t need assholes like that in your life. 

Post # 4
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee

That was hard to read because it was basically a long run on sentence. I agree with PP that this all sounds very juvenile. Just do what the bride wants and be done with it. It sounds like you and the bride should have a separate chat together, not in a group text. 

Post # 5
Member
5003 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, the requests from the bride seem very over the top and far too much to ask of anyone. I’m very much of the belief that if someone expects another human to wear a specific outfit/hairstyle/shoes etc that requires this person to go out of their way to spend money to achieve this required look, Then the person requesting it needs to cough up the cash to pay for it instead of expecting someone else to fund their dream ideas.

Not only does the bride want you to wear a certain dress on the day of the wedding and isn’t funding it, she now wants everyone to wear a black outfit to the rehearsal and to also have them and their partner wear a matching onesie for fun! This bride sounds entitled and like too much work. I’m all for doing something on the odd occasion for people close to you even if it feels like an inconvenience but it’s another thing to something out of the ordinary for someone you are close to who doesn’t even appreciate that you are doing something for them that is a big ask and then has the cheek to be rude to you on top of the ask!! I’d pull out of the wedding and friendship for this type of behaviour from someone. Screw her…Wear your skeleton onesies at home on the couch on their wedding night and enjoy a pizza and time with your husband – who appreciates and respects you!

  • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by cmsgirl.
Post # 6
Member
13813 posts
Honey Beekeeper

You have the right to wear your hair and makeup anyway you like and go to any salon you like as long as you’re there on time. Likewise the bride is not entitled to dictate your jewelry. By asking those questions you only opened yourself up to inappropriate demands, which is exactly what happened. But I can’t see how that would offend her. 

The onesie thing is totally infantile and themed dressing on her wedding weekend is not a reasonable thing for her to require. You don’t need her permission to pass or let her know it won’t work for you. 

I don’t know how bad the incident was, but a public fight in the vicinity of a friend’s wedding was definitely not OK. If she’s still holding it against you four years later I’m not sure why you are friends at all at this point. Either step down or opt out of anything you aren’t comfortable with. 

Post # 7
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee

Drama like this leading up to and during a wedding typically ends with not being friends anymore. If I were in your position I would drop out of the wedding now and save yourself the money and heartache. Do something special with your husband instead.

Post # 8
Member
668 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@katebluestone:  100% agree. 

This was hard to read, you say you like direct instructions, sometimes asking too many questions elicits answers you don’t want as happened in this case. The onesie thing is ridiculous and juvenile. Next time take the brief and fill in the blanks yourself unless requested otherwise, and if the bride oversteps you can have the convo at that time one on one. 

Post # 9
Member
7935 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

You lost me at onesies. Middle Schoolers shouldn’t be getting married…

Then again, having to leave a venue to argue with one’s spouse at someone else’s wedding (and even allowing someone else to witness or get involved) is equally ridiculous. Regardless of whether you attend this wedding or not, OP, please turn over a new leaf after this. Hold yourself to a higher standard and act like an adult It doesn’t even sound like you like this person (and vice versa), let alone being close enough to them to stand up in their wedding.

Post # 10
Member
4798 posts
Honey bee

She sounds scattered and disorganized and you asking her questions probably bothers her because they aren’t things she’s had time to focus on or even really cares about and now she has to care about them on YOUR time table.  

You sound high maintenance and incapable of independent thought.  Just wear your hair how you like if she hasn’t specified.  Do your make up how you like.  No one is going to die because of how you styled your hair or if you wore pink blush instead of coral or if two people wear the same style onesie (and what the f*** is up with adults and onesies in the first place?).  Does someone have to bathe and dress you like a toddler the other 364 days of the year?  Is that why we’re talking about onesies?  You may like being micro-managed, but not everyone likes micro-managing.  Sometimes you just have to be an adult and put some critical thinking skills to work and make decisions for yourself. 

All of you sound immature AF.  Drop out.  Don’t drop out.  Whatever.  None of you are going to be friends after this anyway.  It doesn’t really matter.

Post # 11
Member
8 posts
Newbee

I guess I’m really out if it, but the only onesies I know of are for young babies. They snap at the crotch for easy diaper changes. What on Earth is a onesie for an adult?

Post # 12
Member
3669 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
@Deeppurplelilac:  all I can think of is the thing you sleep on and it isn’t separate pants and top but rather all together 

Post # 13
Member
3669 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
@kiki20:  I would either drop out of the wedding or just do what you are going to do and don’t worry that all your questions haven’t been answered. If nobody specified jewelry then just wear your own. Do your hair how you want. The onesie thing sounds ridiculous and I would not take part in it. However if you do take part in it just wear something you already have. She does sound disorganized but you also sound overly worried about details. 

You should have never had the public fight but it is rude of her to bring it up 4 years later. This friendship sounds like it has died a slow death. 

Post # 14
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

If you’re cool with losing this friendship then I’d bail. It sounds like she has assigned three costume changes with the onsie thing, the black dress for the rehearsal plus the actual bridesmaid’s dress and that’s two outfits too many in my opinion. Your friend has watched too many wedding movies and has forgotten how real life works.

Post # 15
Member
1421 posts
Bumble bee

@Deeppurplelilac:

Not going to lie – I have two onesies and they are my absolute favourite things for ski trips or cozy days in the house   haha. Mine are just plaid though and not themed or hooded. Just one piece pajamas.

OP, since the wedding is next week just get your hair done, wear the Pokemon and Skeleton onesies. I’m going to hope your friend is just super stressed out and her behaviour is uncharacteristic. 

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