(Closed) HELP! Please the in-laws or myself?? Need advice!

posted 10 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Do I include Fiance's parents on the invitation?



  • Post # 3
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I would include them. I feel like you have to pick your battles, and unless this means that much to you, it would just be easier to give them this one. We put my husband’s parents on the invites even though my parents paid for it. I felt like they were supportive in other ways so it was important to me that they be on there.

    Post # 4
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I would probably just live with it IF your parents don’t care.  Honestly, you are the only person who cares. Not a single guest is going to worry about it.

    Post # 5
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I personally would not include them.  Your parents are hosting and that’s not a cheap undertaking – they deserve the proper credit for doing so. 

    Post # 6
    14492 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would put them on as Your FH’s name then ” son of soandso”.  Would show that your parents are still hosting and appease the grandparents.

    Post # 7
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I agree with tksjewelry. Your parents deserve the credit for hosting, it is a very expensive undertaking. Fi and I are paying for everything ourselves. I decided not to include any parents on the invite.

    Post # 8
    5988 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    as your parents are hosting 100% i wonder what their thoughts are.  if it was my invites i wouldnt have FI’s parents names – but im a bitch 🙂

    Post # 10
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    View original reply
    @Hillzie: If it really makes the invitation look strange I wouldn’t do it.  Do other people think it looks too cluttered?  Maybe you just had envisioned it a certain way and the additional names don’t look that bad, just not what you had in mind.  

    That’s a shame you worry that they might talk badly about you over a wedding invitation, especially when they really don’t have much to do with it. But if they’re going to do that, they might find something else later. 

    Post # 12
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I really think you should include his parents. It’s very traditional in other cultures (Chinese, for example to list the parents of both people on the invite, and where they are listed, it’s clear that they’re not the hosts or the inviters. It’s a small battle and your grandparents-in-law will be happy and even guests who notice will think its more inclusive than not. If you pick this as your battle you will lose “ammunition” for things that really matter later in life.

    Post # 13
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I do prefer it without the names, especially considering it’s a square invite.  I’m guessing considering you’re tight on room there’s no way to include the names and then add some space before the date to draw attention to that?

    Post # 14
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I would not include them. Your parents are the one thats hosting. There is no reason to be putting up a front for everyone. We are having this problem but we decided to word our like this

    Jane doe and John smith

    together with our families invite you yadda yadda.. that way its not so wordy and all parents are included. Idk if this will work for you or not but just throwing it out there.

    Post # 15
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My dad is hosting and my parents are divorced.   I added everyone, because we are all a part of this.   Our families did much more than just help with the wedding, we wanted to acknowledge their support throughout our lives.


    I wouldn’t want to start the wedding planning with a battle on my hands if I were you, especially if your parents don’t mind.

    Post # 16
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    having the grooms’ parents’ names like that is very standard. if they asked you to include them and you don’t, i think that’s kind of rude, and in any case just not a battle worth picking–this is going to be your family, don’t you want to build as much good will as you can? i just don’t see why including them is that big a deal, your parents still get the credit for hosting when it’s worded like that

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