(Closed) help please!! Who to put as maid of honor??

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well…I think you sort of stuck yourself with your sister by lying to her and saying you were planning a special way of telling her.

Post # 5
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Can you make her your maid of honor and explain it to your friend as you have here? I think your friend will understand the situation and will step up without the ‘title’. That way you will have your friend to help you and take on the role, but you don’t have to take back what you said to your sister.

Post # 6
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bella731:  just pick your sister and avoid any drama. She’s blood. Plus, your friend can’t get upset at you choosing your sister over her.  

Or, you can just appoint them both as MOHs doesn’t really matter. We’re having 2 MOHs and 2 Best Men.

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Can they be co maid of honors? You can just tell your sister that you don’t want to give her a bunch of stuff to do since it’s important she focus on herself right now, and since your friend is so close to you also, you’d like them to do it together.

She was rude in asking, but @peachacid is right that you’re pretty stuck now that you already responded the way you did. Sounds like she’s going through a lot right now, and she hasn’t done anything where you should ‘demote’ her, much as I hate that term when it’s used in reference to BMs.

Post # 8
Member
4929 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I think you’re kind of stuck picking your sister at this point. I would’ve picked her anyway, though. I chose my sister, even though she’ll be barely 17 on my wedding day.

You can always explain the situation to your friend. I’m sure she’d understand!

Post # 9
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had two MOH’s (my sister and best friend) and Darling Husband had two Best Men.  Rock the boat!

Post # 10
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

To me Maid/Matron of Honor is just a title. You kind of weaseled out of your sister’s question by not being direct, so it may cause family drama if you don’t pick her now. That doesn’t mean your other friend/bridesmaid can’t be there just as much for you. I also have two girls and my only sister is default Maid/Matron of Honor. But I don’t expect anything different from her versus my friend. 

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