(Closed) Help: Plus ones

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Due to budget and space issues we are doing what you suggested. As far as I’m concerned the wedding is for people who we know and love. That includes the bridal party and thier dates, our relatives, and their SO’s. Letting everyone have a plus one would probably have nearly doubled our guest list. At the majority of weddings in my family people were only allowed to bring a plus one if they had been in a standing relationship with their date or were part of the bridal party.

Post # 4
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We only have maybe 10 plus ones, and at least half of them won’t get filled. Our wedding invite count is currently at 240. The rule is that if we haven’t met their date, they don’t get to have a plus one come unless they won’t know anyone else there. 

Post # 5
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I can see where you’re both coming from, but I agree with you. Having that many extra people would definitely add to costs. We both have large families. My side alone [family and friends] is up to over 200 people already- sheesh! About 80% of our guests are out of town so I doubt we’ll end up with 75, but that’s still a lot for us. I can’t imagine how many we’d have if all the single people got to bring a plus one.

Post # 7
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We are doing Plus Ones for our friends (we’re in our 30s).  Our cousins (all younger than us) are getting Plus Ones if they are in a serious relationship (living together/engaged).  All our other cousins are not getting a plus one.  They can deal.  I really don’t want my 19 year old cousin’s flavor of the month at my wedding. 

Doing it this way, we felt we still were being accomodating to our friends who may know no one there but us, but we are also controlling the guest list/finances.  Also, most of our friends are married, we have maybe 8 that are single.

Post # 8
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We bugeted enough room so that we could give all of our friends +1s (single or not, and oot or not) and any family (18+) that are in a relationship +1s.  Most of our friends are either in relationships or Out of Town (and I think it’s nice to give Out of Town guests a +1 so they can have someone to travel with if they want) and it seemed a bit unfair to not also give the handful of single people in town +1s.  However, if you have a guest that is in town, knows other people at the wedding, and isn’t in any sort of relationship (has no Boyfriend or Best Friend or GF), then you are under no obligation to give them a +1.

I honestly don’t care if I’ve met the SO/friend or not.  I’m not inviting that person for me, I’m inviting them for my guest because I wnat my guest to be happy and comfortable.

Post # 10
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Every invited guest over the age of 18 was invited with an “and guest” (in my opinion that’s the way it should be).  Only about 20% of those people actually brought a guest.  Most of our single guests chose to come solo.

Post # 11
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would do what you suggested, and just invite +1’s for people in relationships etc. Thats what we’re doing too. No point in having a bunch of people you’ve never met, just for the sake of bringing a guest.

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