(Closed) HELP! PLUS SIZED INSECURITIES

posted 7 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 18
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

try calling 211 for services in your area, I’m nowhere near your area so I can’t offer much help in the way of finding a counselor, but it’s a place to start.

Post # 19
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I totally understand how you are feeling as well.  I struggle with my weight (I used to be much skinnier in high school too.) I have very low self-esteem as well but I promise you that just by finding a wedding dress that you love will make a world of difference.  I was so nervous about going dress shopping especially with my mom and sister who are both skinny but I found a dress that I LOVE and that does wonders for my body. I even posted a thread on this board saying Does this dress look good on me? and got so many wonderful comments that made me feel so much better about my appearance. Even finding the right dress I feel like I haven’t had to worry so much constantly about having to lose the weight to feel like I look great on my wedding day.

 

I found this on pinterest one day and loved it!

#weight is just a number, u r AMAZING just the way u r ! :D

Post # 20
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Love yourself!!! No matter what the number on the scale says you are still YOU!!! Your FH fell in love with that person not the shell(body) you are in. Work on self..girl “You’re BEAUTIFUL” Believe it.

Post # 21
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@plchansen:  +1   211 is a great service!! 

So, first, welcome.  Second, oh my you have so much on your hands right now!!!

Third, let me share with you my wedding dress experience.  I’m 5’2 and weight a little over 200lbs. 

I went to Macy’s with my Fiance, found a beautiful non-bridal dress in a size 14…I loved it to death.  Took it to the dressing room and could get it over my hips but no way in hell was that zipper even moving a centimeter.  We bought the dress and have been working with a super sweet seamstress to first make the dress fit but then to make it fit my style too.  It’s been a great experience.  It no longer feels like a dress that I couldn’t fit into…It feels like a dress that was made for me…like from the universe!!  Maybe it doesn’t work like this for everyone but the whole bridal store thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be IMO.

Keep checkin in, we’ll be here!

Here’s us in our e-shoot.  I was all worried of course…even did a thread to find out what to wear.  And they turned out great! http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/e-pics-heavy-citymodernwinter

Post # 22
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@icetea:  WOW you are gorgeous!

Post # 23
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@LauraVolkmer:   I’m so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I hate when as girls, our insecurities get the best of us by rearing their ugly head at what’s suppose to be life’s happy moments. 

First off, you don’t state how old you are – but I would stop comparing yourself to high school. Most girls were a lot skinner there, but we were finished maturing and didn’t have the adult bodies we do today. We focused a lot on “me” time not school, college, careers, others, cleaning, upkeeping a house/apartment, family, a fiancee ๐Ÿ™‚ 

You should talk to someone – family, friend, counselor or your fiancee – about your feelings. Next time he comments on your looks (good or bad) and you are alone, or next time you bring up “The past” talking about when you met. My fiancee was extremely large  (300+ )when we started dating, much larger than when we were first friends, and him and I have worked together at trying to be healthier and more conscious of what we eat. It was never a race or a “you need to lose weight” but a “We need to be healthy to have more time to enjoy with one another.” 

Or a  “We’re getting married, and that’s because I want you by my side forever… let’s make forever happen on a healthy note.”  We’ve both lost a little weight since then, him more than I. I’ve done more toning up.

I’ve found it a good mindset to approach things with. 

Also – I absolutely love this image here, showing women all the same weight at different heights.

I’m also 5″3″ and weighed 190 when I went dress shopping. Still a plus sized girl here. I’m down a little (185-180 hover) but not much. 

I found a consultant and a dress shop who didn’t care about size, but wanted to help me find a dress that made me feelt beautiful that I was comfortable in. I left one shop after an off-putting commenta bout my weight. 

Demand that respect. You as a customer and woman with respect for herself doesn’t need to be insulted. If they make off-putting remarks, leave, it’s not worth dealing with them in the future. You will find someone who wants you to look as great as you will (hopefully come to) feel. 

 

Post # 25
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@KLB264:  Love this!  Every adolescent girl should have this!

Post # 26
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Girl after seeing the pic, this is beautiful. I had to go back up to the top to see if this was the chick posting the picture. I saw the pic before I even read that it was you who posted it. Honey you are tripping. You look beautiful and you don’t have anything to worry about.

I was just like you when my Fiance and I got together. I constantly asked myself why he would want to love me and be with me. He always just said, :I love you for you and wouldn’t change anything about you.

Every morning you get up, tell yourself you are beautiful… even if you don’t believe it. Evenutally I started to believe it. It wasn’t until I believed that I started to see myself for the beautiful person I really was. I like you had a thyroid problem as well. I started taking Synthroid as prescribed by a doctor. This got my thyroid under control and I was able to start working out and the weight came off slowly. But I am still plus-sized and I love all my curves. I attribute it to positive affirmations. You can do it.

Also call around to some clinics and see if they accept patients without insurance. They may see you for a small nominal fee.

Post # 27
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

You look beautiful.  I don’t what you see in the mirror each morning because you look perfect.  Your figure is amazing.

I come from a long line of overweight people in my family and I still don’t understand how my sister and I don’t even have to try to be average.  So while I’m average I do kind of understand.  Everyone has their insecurities and no ones perfect.  There is a decent possibility that while you feel he’s settling he feels like you are the one who is settling.  If you want to lose weight than it wont be easy but it is possible.  You need to make yourself happy with your body.  I’ve seen so many brides pull off the whole tight sexy dress while they are overweight.

Post # 29
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Awww…I love the picture you posted.Be kind to yourself.Everyday when you wake up look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are good enough.Your Fiance isn’t settling for you,there are plenty of single women out there.You deserve a good man and he deserves a good woman.Be glad that you have found that in eachother.

Post # 30
Hostess
8575 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@LauraVolkmer:  Your picture is beautiful.

You are beautiful. I think you just need to have a little more confidence in yourself. I’m plus sized and I know exactly how you feel, I sometimes feel that way too.

Have you started trying on dresses? Once you find that perfect dress that shows off your wonderful curves, you’ll feel tons better!

Post # 31
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am also plus sized. I’m about 5’7 or 5’8, street size 16 – 18. I outweigh my Darling Husband by like 40 lbs. I just wanted to tell you that, because I know where you are coming from. My first concern is that you feel like your Fiance is settling and is not excited about marrying you. Why would you say that? Is it true, or are those your feelings about yourself talking??? If he truly doesn’t covet you, I wouldn’t marry him. It looks like he is happy in the pic. Size & the number on the scale do not determine your worth. I would encourage you to go shopping with someone who is supportive of you, and reinforces positive encouragement. Your e-pic is gorgeous! As a side note for your thyroid problem, I am going to assume that you have hypothyroidism, which is usually treated with levothyroxin, or synthroid. Same drug. It’s a super cheap drug, and I think it may be included on the $4 list at walmart/HEB. I’m not sure, but I do know it’s cheap. I would think that it would be worth paying out of pocket for. Good luck, positive thoughts & positive energy your way, honey!

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