(Closed) HELP! PLUS SIZED INSECURITIES

posted 7 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 32
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think if you look at it from a different angle, it might be easier for you. Why does thin = beautiful? It’s entirely socially constructed. YOU have to feel beautiful, and then it will all melt away.

It sounds like BS, but absolutely everybody is beautiful on their wedding day. Not only because of the exhilaration and the happiness – but all the make up and hair etc – how often do we get to do that! Professionals make everybody look good.

Don’t mix up thin with good. Sure, you might not look skinny in your wedding photos, but you’ll still be beautiful. Who cares about anything else.

Post # 33
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@LauraVolkmer:  Oh my goodness!  That is a beautiful picture, and you, my dear, are absolutely stunning.  I wish you found it easier to see yourself through everyone else’s eyes, because if you could, you’d realize that you have nothing in the world to be insecure about!  You are a gorgeous lady with a gorgeous figure, and a man who loves you.  Go have your dream wedding, because you deserve it!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 34
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

OP, I love the e-pic you posted! You look absolutely lovely. You said you are worried that your Fiance is not attracted to you, but in that photo, he looks like a man that is so happy!

I hope you were able to find a counselor with free services or maybe offers session on a sliding scale based on income. If not, maybe look into finding a useful self help book like this:

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Workbook-Glenn-R-Schiraldi/dp/1572242523/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360347225&sr=1-10

I also think it could help if you kept a simple journal, and everyday wrote down a few things that you love about yourself. It sounds lame, but it might be helpful! I am going to try to do this too.

I also have times of feeling really insecure. (I am 5’6, and weigh about 200lbs, but I am an apple shape, so I carry most of it in my stomach/thighs.) However, when I thought about it, I know/have seen tons of plus size girls that are drop dead gorgeous. A lot of it has to do with confidence- and knowing what clothing flatters you. Like the other Bees said, every bride is beautiful when they are happy. I do think you should try to do something extra for yourself before your wedding to feel as good as possible- a massage always works wonders. Keep an eye out on sites like Groupon and LivingSocial- I have snagged 1 hour massages for $35.

Post # 35
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You look gorgeous! And FYI: we ALL have insecurities. I am 5’8″ , 150lbs, and have a 28″ waist. I am used to being 140, 26.5″ waist. So I feel “fat” for me. Plus, I am having some odd hormonal acne that I never had. Thank goodness for my ridiculously amazing dermatologist that I can luckily afford, sohe keeps it all completely under wraps so no one would ever know.. . . Point is: Whoo cares! As long as you are healthy and happy, that is all that matters! And you definitely look both. If you don’t feel as great as you lookgirlie- do something about it: read, mediate, seek counseling, or work out more – whatever works for you. My guess is though that you are already perfect & are just too hard on yourself ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 37
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

LOVE your engagement pic, you look beautiful! & you know what really stands out, how happy BOTH of you look together. Weddings are rough on self esteem. I had a year and a half of snide comments, questions about dieting, & unwanted advice to work through in regards to my weight. Was I 100% happy with my weight? No. But as my wedding approached & all the dieting didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped…I said “You know what, I’m going to be happy.” and stopped listening to any negativity coming from others, or more importantly myself. You’re beautiful & you’ll feel amazing on your wedding day. Your Fiance loves you and you love him, & you will be a gorgeous bride!

Post # 38
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Your engagement photo is BEAUTIFUL! You both looks supremely happy. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m sorry that you’ve struggled so much all of this. As someone who is 5’4″ and 198lbs, I know how you feel. I also have issues with my thyroid (hypothyroidism), along with PCOS, so I DEFINITELY understand your struggles with trying so hard to lose weight and having little success. One thing that I’ve been doing that you might want to consider, is taking Vitamin D. You can get it pretty cheap at any drugstore or supermarket and I’ve noticed it’s helped a LOT with my energy levels. It won’t solve all of your problems, but it might help. I take about 6,000mg every morning. They’re tiny capsules too. I wish you the best of luck, and just keep your head high. You have the love of a great man and you will have a very happy life together! ๐Ÿ™‚

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