(Closed) HELP ! Timing/Etiquette

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Having a pre "send off" celebration instead of an "after party"
    Yes - that is totally fine ! : (20 votes)
    67 %
    Don't do it ! that is cray cray ! : (3 votes)
    10 %
    I have some other words of wisdom - please see below : (2 votes)
    7 %
    SQUIRREL !!! : (5 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 4
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think that’s a really nice idea. Although I have to add, personally I wouldn’t see an after-party as gift-grabby!

    Post # 5
    1089 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I might steal your idea! I would have never thought of that! 

    Post # 8
    5667 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’m not sure about the pre-celebration. I think if I were a guest I’d feel more included with an at home reception after the fact. The send-off seems a bit more like “We’re off to party! Don’t feel too bad about being stuck here and not being able to come have fun with us!”

    The bride in this thread had a very small wedding and sent out photocards later. Here’s her explanation:

    “Another thing we did that I HIGHLY recommend – we took a photo holding a blank poster board, and then on photoshop we added the words ‘Thinking of you, _________’. One with each person’s name. We then sent these photos as postcards with the words – ‘Even though we couldn’t have everyone present on our special day, we were still thinking of you! Thank you for being part of our lives, and we hope to celebrate with you someday in the future! All our love, Mr. and Mrs…'”

    Perhaps something like that? You could change the wording “someday in the future” to something more invitation like for an at home reception. I plan on copying her idea completely because I’m have a small wedding and won’t be able to invite all of my family and friends.


    Post # 9
    375 posts
    Helper bee

    The more I consider this idea, it’s sort of like a Bon Voyage party and you’re proposed wording sounds very welcoming. After initial misgivings I think this could work!

    Maybe include a line like “Last chance to see us as Mermaid and Merman, next time we’ll be Merman and Wife!” or something?

    Post # 12
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t think that you should have people on the stag/ shower that aren’t even invited to the wedding. Therefore you shouldn’t be be in the awkward postion being asked about where their invites are.

    Post # 13
    1763 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @CanadianMermaid: I love the idea. I think I would a send off more then a reception as guests beacuse at least they feel some what involved in it. I have a cousin having a receptions months after her Destination Wedding (I know this is a personal choice please don”t roast me), and I kind of don’t feel so excited as I normally would. They’ve already been husband and wife for months. Danced many dances and have been Mr and MRs for a while, just kind of feels like an after thought.

    Post # 14
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee

    My cousin had a destination wedding Jan ’10 and had a very casual reception the summer of ’09 for friends and family that couldn’t make it to the wedding. I thought it was great, mainly because they did it in the summer so it was able to be outside.

     It didn’t feel anything like what @Aure said. My whole family was invited to the wedding and I would have LOVED to go but we couldn’t afford it for all of us to go so only my parents went. I thought it was great that they were still having a reception for everyone, and like you, it just made sense to do it beforehand! I say go for it!

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