Post # 1
My mom and I are arguing over whether or not it is rude to have a cake and punch only reception. Our wedding is at the beach so our guests are looking at a 4 hr drive and they are probably all coming in the night before. I think the least we can do is feed them after they have traveled all that way to share our day with us. She doesn’t see it that way. She thinks just a cake and punch reception and then tell everyone we are going to dinner and that they can join us if they want. Is that rude or acceptable? Opinions please.
Post # 3
ordinarily it would be fine, if they could just go home and eat, but since they have to travel a little i would offer more food. Maybe just heavy finger foods?
Post # 4
Feed them the day of instead of the day before.
Post # 5
I say heavy hors d’oeuvres, especially if they are traveling.
Post # 6
I think because they are traveling so far, I would offer them more than cake and punch personally. There is no etiquette around it (in fact, cake and punch is the traditional thing in the old days), but it might be more courtesy to do so.
Also, you can choose to serve lunch, which may be cheaper. Have them eat before the ceremony, and have cake and punch afterwards.
Post # 7
If your reception is at a meal time, then yes cake and punch is rude. You’re reception is your thank you to your guests for coming to your wedding and celebrating with you. So you are correct it is rude if you are getting married around lunch time or dinner time.
Also, if you go out to dinner, make sure you don’t formally invite them to dinner when you guys expect them to pay. Just be like, “Hey we’re going here for dinner, if you care to join!” That way they know it isn’t something you’re hosting, i.e, paying for.
Post # 8
I personally agree with you that it’d be better to provide the guests with dinner–even something really simple like pasta, or whatever. But if that’s totally out of the question, then I think that’s ok, too–as long as you’re very clear about their being no dinner served when you invite people, so that they know exactly what they’re getting into.
Post # 9
I’m confused, are you not going to feed them anything after the wedding? Only the night before? Or are you asking if you need to feed them all the night before in addition to the reception after the wedding?
Post # 10
Well my guy and I have decided just to elope to the beach with parents and grandparents only to save arguments. Both sets of parents will be splitting the reception when we get home. I am glad to see that most of you were like me, and thought it was rude not feed people if they were traveling for the wedding. Thanks for the input! I am now a stressfree bride except for finding the perfect wedding dress. On to the next challenge I guess..lol