(Closed) HELP!!! Rephrase this sentence please

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 3
47433 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Plum4getful:  I would just leave that sentence out. It is never a good idea to emphasize a lack of experience in your cover letter.

I would also reverse the order in your second sentence. Stary with your “passion” as the subject of the sentence. Personally, I would also delete It was then I realized that this is what I was  meant to do. It just sounds a bit  hoky to me, but it’s your call.

My passion for this field was cultivated completing a summer term within the HR department of a well known law office. It was then I realized that this is what I was meant to do.That experience not only reinforced my interest “in” Human Resources, but it was the deciding factor for my degree.”


Post # 4
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

View original reply
@julies1949:  I agree, leave the sentence out completely.

Post # 6
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I second everything julies1949 said.  You don’t need to point out you haven’t been given the opportunity — they will see that in your resume.  You could add something about how excited you are to use the extensive training from your undergraduate degree, and that the experience you have gained as an administrative assistant has helped you understand the culture and needs of the company.

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