Post # 1
I have a seating question. Basically, I’d like to sit the teens/early 20s kids at one table, all cousins, that come from both my and FI’s fam. That would mean that the parents of the teens (my aunt and uncle + FI’s aunt and uncles) would be sitting with my grandparents at their own table.
The reason I want to do this is: (1) It prevents having one really crowded 10 person 60-inch round of FI’s aunts/uncles/cousins (or conversely, several awkwardly small 5-person tables), (2) It keeps all the vocal Trump-supporting adults @ my hippie gay minister wedding confined to one table. I feel like the teens would be glad for the reprieve from their parents if only for dinner, but I worry that the 2 cousins on my side might feel awkward with 6 cousins on FI’s side. Also, maybe everyone would be more comfortable with their own tribe.
Thoughts? Has anyone dealt with something like this before?
Post # 2
I’d ask your fiancé how he thinks his cousins would like it. If they are really introverted it might be best to seat them with more people they know but if they are really outgoing it probably won’t be a problem to seat them with your cousins.
Overall, I don’t think it’s a bad idea unless your fiancé feels it will make his cousins uncomfortable.
Post # 3
If I was your cousin, I would probably be more comfortable with my parents than a bunch of random people. I am a huge introvert though and as a teen would’ve only talked to my cousin.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2017 - A Historic Inn
Would a 5 person table really be awkward though? Especially if they’re all from the same family? There might be a piece of your vision I’m not getting. What is the age range? For some reason, a version of the “kids” table doesn’t sit well with me. ESPECIALLY when we’re talking about older teenagers.
Post # 5
mrsmacatak : I think it would feel empty only because the tables seat 8-10. 6 of the cousins are close and grew up together, so they wouldn’t think twice about being seated together – it’s just adding in the 2 from my side that might be awkward. They are siblings and are close though. I’m torn.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2017 - A Historic Inn
backyardbride1 : do you know if all the cousins are coming? (I ask because I assumed all my 1st cousins were coming, but they’re not.) If they’re not all coming, then you can rethink your seating plans. Maybe talking to your 2 cousins (or their parents) would be considerate, if they’re older teenagers. They probably assume they’re sitting with their parents (naturally). Depending on their personalities, it could be a major shock if they find out they won’t be a the wedding. Teenager me would be pretty frustrated if I’m put in a group of people where I felt like an outsider.
Post # 7
Speaking from experience, please don’t lump a bunch of strange young people together if you want them to enjoy your wedding. I was seated at the “kids table” at my cousin’s wedding when I was in my early twenties. My siblings, mom, and grandparents were at separate tables in a separate room, so I was sitting alone for most of the night with kids I’d never met. It sucked and I couldn’t wait to leave.
Post # 8
I thought this was going to be about separating small children from their parents – early 20s are not kids lol. But anyway, I think this is a good idea. A ‘young persons table’ will probably be way more fun than sitting with their parents. I have sat alone at weddings before which isn’t the best, but as long as they know 1 other person at the table it’s fine. You’re combining families after all, it makes sense for people to get to know each other. Teenagers and young adults can handle themselves.
Post # 9
I was a really shy kid and uncomfortable in most social situations. However, if I was with any of my siblings, I was usually okay. Since your two cousins have eachother, I think it is 100% fine.
Post # 10
I’d always rather sit at a young person’s table than with my parents. I’ll be with my parents during the ceremony and cocktail hour probably, so I’d like the chance to get to know some other folks before we all hit the dance floor.
Post # 11
nonablu : Realistically combining families more extends to getting to know each others parents, not each others cousins all becoming friends. Having said that I don’t think it would be a bad idea but it would polite to maybe ask your cousins what they would prefer.
Post # 12
lucky13th : That sounds very different from what this OP is planning though.
backyardbride1 : I think your plan sounds fine unless you know that your cousins are painfully shy and/or his are all dicks who wouldn’t try to include them. Is there a cousin or 2 on your fiance’s side that he could specifically ask to look out for your 2 and make sure they feel welcome?
Post # 13
I seated kids/teenagers/young adults away from their parents because I remember when i was a kid I loved being “adult” enough to get my own escort card and hang out with my friends 🙂 as a 16 year old the last thing I’d want to be doing is hanging out with my parents, but then again I’m not much of an introvert.
Post # 14
It really depends on their ages.
If you’ll be sitting a 23 year old with a 14 year old, then I’d say no, please don’t do that :D, but if they’re like 17-21, then sure, go for it. I was seated at a table with my parents aged 16 at a wedding and it pissed me off, because I sat with my parents every night at dinner, I really didn’t need to be sitting with my parents at a wedding as well. I don’t see any issue with it at all unless there’s a major age difference between them.
And if they’re introverted then I say tough, you have to learn to socialize with strangers at some point, why not in your teens 🙂
Post # 15
I’d rather sit with ‘young people’ than my parents at almost any event lol. But I agree it dpeneds on their ages. Like 16-21 I’d be fine sitting with. Especially if you know someone (ie the siblings know each other), it would make it easier to get to know the other people. At least there isn’t 1 odd man out or something.