Post # 1
I’m originally from Hawaii, and all of my family members/close relatives still live there.
I have been living in Northern VA/DC for the past 9 years, and am IN LOVE with this area. I have made tons of amazing friends here and most importantly, my fiancé. I only have 3 girlfriends from my childhood that Im still friends with, and they have all moved to different parts of the mainland as well.
My fiancé’s family primarily resides in the NOVA/DC Area.
My dilemma is this: I would love to get married here in DC surrounded by my friends and family. However if I choose to do so, majority of my family members would not be able to make the trip due to financial reasons. It is obviously very far and DC is very pricey! I’m not sure if my own father can afford a plane ticket from Hawaii to DC, and all the other costs of a trip/wedding. I would be heartbroken if he wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle. My fiancé and I ourselves can barely afford a small simple wedding. I’ve considered having a small ceremony in Hawaii with just family members, and then having a reception/party at some point afterwards in NOVA. I would not expect 75-100 of our friends to be able to afford a trip to Hawaii! But at the same time I would hate to not include my family members in a reception, and not include my wonderful friends in our ceremony (and vice-versa). Both our friends and family deserve a wedding! However I cannot afford 2 weddings.
I know this is a weird dilemma, and it’s causing me so much stress!! I have to start planning soon, but I need to decide what’s important to me! Please, any suggestions/advice/comments are welcome. Help me put things in perspective! Thank you!!!
Post # 3
@TFish: I think it’s totally okay to do a family wedding in hawaii, and a separate reception with friends after the fact. 🙂
Post # 4
We’re kind of doing the opposite – we’ve invited our closest friends/family to fly to Hawaii with us for an intimate wedding ceremony and then, if in the budget, we’re going to come back to Colorado and have a reception (probably a casual BBQ) to which our extended family and friends will be invited.
It’s a little heartbreaking that my grandmother cannot fly and will not be able to attend the ceremony but she will be able to attend the casual reception back home and we were overwhelmed attempting to coordinate a wedding in Colorado (surprising, right?).
Post # 5
@TFish: We did it! We had an amazing, low-stress wedding with my mom and sister, surrounded by the ocean and sand, and then came back to a big party and a winery. It was great, because even after the excitement of the wedding, we had something else amazing to look forward to!
Post # 6
That sounds great! Thank you for the feedback!
Post # 7
This is exactly what I want to do, a small DW, closest family there with me and then a big-ish reception once we get home. I would be heartbroken if I got married without my parents there due to something as small (but pricey) as a plane ticket. Friends shouldn’t be hurt if they miss out on a ceremony they’ll just be happy to celebrate your big day with you in any form you want to, so I wouldn’t worry about that. And yes ceremonys are nice, sweet, and beautiful but the best part of a wedding is the reception! At least for the majority of guests – and from personal experience. I really hope it works out for you because it does sound like the perfect plan.
Post # 8
I think your idea of having a small ceremony/dinner in Hawaii and then a reception in the DC area sounds great. That is, if you can swing it financially.
The DC “reception” doesn’t have to be a formal event, it could just be a casual party. When I was searching for a venue for my wedding, I came across the Hendry House in Arlington, VA and I think it would be perfect for something like this! The rental price is super resonalbe for the DC area (assuming you don’t go for a tent rental and just set the party up inside) and you can bring your own caterer and drinks.
You’ll probably end up spending less that way. The cost for a traditional reception in the DC area is crazy high.
Post # 9
Wow ladies, thank you so so much for all of your wonderful ideas and support!! After much thought, my fiancé and I are leaning towards the idea ofeloping and having a fabulous “weddingmoon” so we can skip all the drama and stress of planning a wedding (And save all those thousands of dollars for our future). It’s still early in the engagement so no concrete plans yet, but wedding planning/honeymoon planning will have to be put on a hold for a little while. I don’t want it to ruin this special time of being engaged!!
Thanks Bees, you guys are the best!!
Post # 10
@QueenOfSerendip: I LOVE that!!! Sounds perfect.
Post # 11
@snd485: Thank you for the tip!! It’s something definitely worth looking in to!! Nova/Dc is such an amazing and beautiful place to live… It does come with a price tag but at the end of the day it’s totally worth it!