Help! Should I Look Through His Phone?

posted 8 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1501 posts
Bumble bee

“I felt like I couldn’t trust him to be honest with me”

Why even confront him or snoop? You can’t trust him to be honest, so there’s no point in this relationship.

Post # 3
359 posts
Helper bee

You should dump him

Post # 4
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

Okay…I’m going to set aside the glaring question of why you got engaged to him in the first place, for now.

You two are not even married and you can’t trust him. He has lied to you repeatedly about the same thing. He continues to find ways to do something that you have made clear makes you uncomfortable, and that he has promised to stop doing. He didn’t stop, but instead tried to hide it from you by using a chat app instead. Now he is back to blatantly talking to this woman where he knows you can see it if you want to.

Honey, this guy gives zero fucks about how you feel about this. Why in the world are you still with him??

LEAVE. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Just cut your losses and gtfo of that situation!

Post # 5
9118 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

No. If you can’t trust him, just dump him.

Post # 6
260 posts
Helper bee

after the secret app I would have been out!!
trust is so so so so important


BUT understand how events went otherways.


I’m so sorry you’re going through this Bee, but RED FLAGS all over the place.
SERIOUSLY re-consider marrying this man.

you may as well look at his phone, this relationship IMO may be too far gone.

Post # 7
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

There is not point in the relationship if there is no honesty. This includes him being untrustworthy and you contemplating going into his phone because of it.

Post # 9
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Huge hugs bee. Im sorry you are hurting, but it sounds like you’ve absolutely dodged a bullet here. I hope you begin to feel better soon x

Post # 10
588 posts
Busy bee

Leaving him is the right decision, he can’t be trusted. So sorry this happened to you!

Post # 11
130 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t even bother looking, you already know. I’d dump him. To be honest, I think if he loved you he would have cut this other girl off. Obviously people can have friends of the same sex, and even be friends with exes, but like, he was clearly crossing the line with her. He needed to shut that shit down out of respect for you … but he didn’t. Get rid.

Post # 12
527 posts
Busy bee

I’m sending you all the hugs! I’m so sorry that he did this to you – and you’re going to hurt for a while. Honestly, you should have known when he got that chat app that something wasn’t right. A very similar situation happened to me and I know how heartbreaking it is.

Just know this isn’t your fault, don’t blame yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you that made him do this.

But good for you for kicking him to the curb and be thankful you found out BEFORE marrying him! Feel free to reach out if you need to talk through the grieving process. <3

Post # 13
490 posts
Helper bee

Hugs bee. In your original post you said a few times you felt something was off and you couldn’t explain it. Hun, that’s your woman intuition. We’re so smart. We can sense when something’s off or when somethings going on behind our backs. We know exactly where to look to find the info we need etc. pay attention anytime it speaks to you!! I think it gets ignored a lot because we don’t want to believe what we already know. Your dude is a jerk. Any man that would rather hide a relationship that’s causing issue in his relationship vs giving it up completely is no good. Glad you’re kicking him out. Sorry this didn’t work but I’m sure there’s someone so much better for you out there. 

Post # 14
1916 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’m sorry bee! You deserve WAY better though. He didn’t shape up after you gave him more chances than he deserved. Stay strong, do NOT let him talk you into one more chance!! You know he’s a lying liar who lies!

Post # 15
798 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Huge hugs, Bee! But you are worth way more than that. I’ll echo @KittyYogi: no time for a lying liar that lies.

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