Post # 1
Hi all. I’m new to all this and need help deciding whether I should accept a family diamond.
My boyfriend has made his proposal intentions clear and wants some initial direction. I remembered loving my great-grandma’s engagement ring as a girl and asked my mom if that would be an option, and if so, to send a pic to refresh my memory. Well, it is not at all what I remembered – small, less than .25 carat (everything seems so much bigger when you’re a kid) and too fragile to wear daily. My mom said, “I don’t think this is probably what you’re looking for…but how about this?” and emailed me a pic of a necklace with a top quality, 1-carat diamond that my grandpa had made for my grandma. My grandma (who’s still alive) gave it to my mom after my grandpa died 5 years ago. My aunt got my grandma’s rings. My mom hardly ever wears necklaces and said grandpa would’ve been happy for me to have it and reset it into a ring.
Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Especially because I love famliiy heirlooms, am a genealogy buff and wear my grandma’s old costume jewelry a few times a week. Well, even though my mom offered, I feel very guilty because this is the only nice piece of jewelry that she owns. She and my dad divorced 10 years ago in a very bitter way and she’s struggled financially ever since. My boyfriend and I are both 35 and earn good incomes. On the other hand, we’d be paying for the wedding ourselves so I could see it making my mom happy to contribute in this way.
Post # 3
I would take it. If I were your mom I would want you to have it. it would give me pleasure to see it passed down through the generations.
And how about as an aside, you buy your mom something nice down the road. Some nice diamond studs or gold hoops. Then she can have some nice jewelry that you gave and you can wear the family diamond.
Post # 4
This is something I can very easily see my mom doing. In fact, some pieces of jewelry that my sister and I currently own that were given as gifts my mom took the stones from pieces she had from my grandmother and gave them to us. Very selfless. I would take it if you know it would make your mom so happy. I don’t think she would’ve offered it if she didn’t truly want to see the joy it would bring you and then her by extension.
Post # 5
I agree that your mom would not offer if she did not *really* mean to offer.
I also think that it would be nice for you to buy your mother a nice piece of jewelry that she will wear. You can present it to her at your rehearsal dinner as a “thanks for all your support” gift. (But I’d start looking now, and probably buy earlier rather than later. I waited to buy gifts for parents & attendants and I was kicking myself about not spacing them out better, they added up!)
Post # 6
Thanks for the input! I guess being guilty is better than greedy. It’s just – gosh mom, you give me everything and never treat yourself. (So I always get her nice presents!) But the jewelry is a great idea. I already have some thoughts and will get to saving…
Post # 7
Definitely accept it! It sounds like she’d be proud for you to have it.
And I agree, get your mama some REALLY nice jewelry with all the money you’ll save ;). Then she’ll have jewelry from you and love it to pieces, I’m sure.
Post # 9
If you want, tell us what was your grandpa’s birthstone? Maybe put that as a new centerstone for the pendant!
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Accept it- this is a wonderful gift. Diamonds should be out on display, not tucked away in a jewelry box! And you might be able to find an estate setting for it- that’s what we did with mine (also a family diamond), and I feel that older stone plus older setting was the perfect combination- made it MY ring, versus someone else’s.
Post # 11
Take it! I also have a family heirloom diamond that my mom gave to my Fiance. It was my grandma’s aunt’s ring. My grandma got it when her aunt passed. My mom got it when my grandma passed. I also wear my grandma’s jewelry on a regular basis, and my mom is always so happy to see me wearing one of her pieces. So, while I also worried that her offer to give us the ring wasn’t whole hearted I decided that since seeing me wear all of my grandma’s other jewelry makes her so happy, it would also make her very happy to see me wear this special ring forever.
Post # 12
Sorry….I didn’t realize this thread was so old.
Post # 13
@marilen: I myself hate necklaces, and if I had a nice diamond, would love to have it set in a ring. And if my beloved daughter was going to wear it–extra fabulousness occurs!
Take it–if it is nice. Get a look-see at it before you commit. I entertained myself last night reading WB long chains of message from a couple of young women who had family gems forced on them. Ugly ones. You don’t want to go there.