(Closed) HELP! Sick mom wants me to be her mother….

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011


It would be pretty lousy to cancel a planned trip to see her just because she’s under the weather, unless A) it’s something super contagious or B) she specifically asked you not to come or.

Post # 4
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrssoontobeh:  I certainly would not cancel, but maybe that’s just me.  If she’s been sick with a fever since last week that’s been a pretty lengthy illness and I wouldn’t mind taking care of her for a bit, she’s definitely taken care of me enough in my life.

Plus, she will hopefully be feeling better by the end of your visit. 

Post # 5
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Depending on how much your mom has done for you in your lifetime.. I’m sure she has done her fair share of doing things for you that she wasn’t thrilled about doing too.

If it was me, I’d go take care of my momma but I think the world of her and everything she’s done for me so helping her out wouldn’t seem like a burdon to me.

I hope this helps you make your decision. 🙂

Post # 6
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@mrssoontobeh:  Well, to put it nicely…yes.  I’m sure there were plenty of times in your years your mother didn’t want to take care of a sick child, but did.

I sat around for days taking care of my mom while she was sick with pnemonia.  It was rewarding to be able to take care of her for once, beings she was always the caregiver to myself and siblings.

Post # 7
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I would NOT cancel the trip– you’re entitled to your feelings, and if it were me, I certainly wouldn’t want to spend my holiday weekend that way– but that’s not an excuse to cancel.  

Trust me when I say you never know when your last moments will be, don’t throw away your time together for something stupid. 

Post # 8
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013


She wants you to come take care of her while she’s sick? Does she have a man cold? Is she helpless? Is her boyfriend the laziest person ever that can’t take care of her?

Post # 9
2547 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yeah, I would go, and take care of her. Unless of course she didn’t want me to, but if she did, and I had it already planned, I couldn’t imagine not going.

Post # 10
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would absolutely go, and do the best job i could trying to make my mom feel better.  But then, I super love and appreciate my mom, so I would be glad to do it.  I don’t know what your relationship with your mother is.

One year, for my spring break (I’m a teacher) I flew to my mom’s state because she had to have a colonoscopy/endoscopy for some issues she’s been having.  She scheduled it specifically so I could be there with her.  I happily used my vacation time to take her to the appointment, wait for it to be over, drive her home, put her to bed…make her the types of food she was allowed to have when waking up, etc.

And I would do it all again in a second.  I know she would do the same for me.

Post # 11
340 posts
Helper bee

You need to go and be with your mom. After knowing a few people around me pass away this week I had a reality check of how important spending time with loved ones really is. Also, she did this for you when you were growing up; it is time to return the favor.

Post # 14
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

yeah, pretty sure you owe her. how many times has she taken care of you?

Post # 15
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Hah, my mom wasn’t exactly the caring type when I was growing up (or ever, really) and it’s caused lots of problems in our life together, so I’d be wary of spending 4 days with her when she just wants me to take care of her. If you’ve already made travel plans (plane tickets? How far is she from you?), might as well just suck it up and go, but I probably wouldn’t play nurse. You said her boyfriend has been super helpful, so maybe that will take some pressure off you?

Post # 16
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mrssoontobeh:  Sorry, but it sounded like her boyfriend wasn’t doing anything from your original post–all you said was that he called you and said that she wants YOU to come take care of her. He’s there already. You came here and asked for advice because you basically said that you don’t want to go take care of her on your vacation.  

It’s a little weird that she said she wants you to do things for her, though. How old is she?

Anyway, I can’t stand my mother, so there’s that. If her boyfriend called me and told me that she wanted me to come take care of her, I’d hang up on him.

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