(Closed) Help! Sister competition is exhausting me.

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee

Just wondering, but how old are you?  I’m really not sure what to tell you aside from stop feeding your sisters insecurities.  She only has as much power as you give her.  Just act like it doesn’t bother you.  If she gets rude, redirect the conversation.  If it’s unbearable, walk away.  

Most of us on here have siblings who at one point or another were competitive with us.  Just give it up.  I’m guessing you’ve reacted to her, and she likely loves that.  Stop it.

Post # 3
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Simsbury 1820 House

Have you had a serious conversation with her and tell her you don’t care about ring size, you love your ring and she loves hers. Also mentioning how uncomfortable she has made you?

Post # 4
Member
1265 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

This is a great opportunity to bean dip her! I learned that phrase here. It goes like this

Bis sister: Have you seen my ring today? It’s so much nicer than yours! 

Little sister: it’s gorgeous! Have you tried the bean dip here? It’s amazing! 

Big sister: my ring is a 15 Ct. And my husband is better than yours. 

little sister: I mean it! Give the bean dip a try and let me know what you think. It is awesome! 

Keep changing the subject til she takes the hint. 

 

Post # 5
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

I have to agree with SomethingBlue. You are grown ups already which means you can have serious grownup conversations. Just sit down with her and tell her how you feel about this. Point out that she is your sister and that you would like it if you both rejoyced over eachothers engagements and how you fear this is damaging your relationship. The competitiveness is fine when you are 16 but by now it should be done with. If that doesn’t work then I think both Doglover and MissTN have great suggestions. My mom still uses the bean dip technique when things get heated up so at the end we just end up laughing together over the ridiculously over-the-top efforts she makes to bean dip us!

Post # 7
Member
880 posts
Busy bee

You need to put it in perspective. People like her only compete to make up for something. 

When she says “sorry mark” you should say “why are you Apologizing to him??” If she says something shallow “oh that I have 3 rings and she only had two”. You/He respond “oh! Don’t be sorry. I’m obsessed with what DH picked out for me.  I’d never ever change a thing about it.” then change the subject to the weather.   

The irony that you were “pretentious” In Honor Of a few years ago and now she’s gone and one upped you should just validate that she’s got some insecurity issues. 

Live a Happy life and ignore her.  She’s her husbands problem now. 

Post # 8
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
summergirl80:  listen to 
View original reply
MissTNBookworm:  !!! that will not only change the subject, but it will drive your sister up a wall which will certainly give you some satisfaction. 

she will only shove her ring up your nose if she knows she’s getting some kind of reaction. once you literally don’t hear her when she’s one upping you. you win. she’ll need to find someone else’s nose in which to store her ring. 

Post # 12
Member
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Some people measure their happiness and success in life by the objects they have, and they assume everyone must feel the same. My ex Brother-In-Law and his wife were like this, they made a big deal about every possession they owned. I remember once they invited my in-laws over to visit just so they could unveil their new big screen TV, which they kept a secret until they saw it..I mean uhh what? A friend of mine compares her ring to everyone else’s, in general she’s not materialistic but the ring has got her obsessed. Just ignore it, if you really don’t care it shouldn’t bother you much. If she gets no reaction from you, she will likely stop. 

Post # 13
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I pictured her literally throwing at you, not just preening. That would be funny. “Look! See!” **toss in you face**

meh, funny how such petty things people make a big deal. Just ignore it. Say “that’s nice, I have seen it already. Very pretty” then walk away. She will get the hint. 

Post # 14
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Two wedding bands gee golly he must love her twice as much as your husband loves you!!! I would just ignore her. Smile and nod, maybe throw an eye roll in. If she asks about that you speak the truth!…

“STFU already Sister! Theres more to life then carat weight. We’ve seen your rings, we’re all very happy for you. Now can we talk about something new and interesting already?” 

But then she’ll probably just say you’re jealous. So maybe just stick with smile, nod, and eye roll!

Post # 15
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Everyone else hit the nail on the head I think. 

 

I just had to stop in and say…now I really want bean dip. 

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