- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Ladies, I need some advice! My sis and I have always had a rocky relationship, but I still felt obligated to ask her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor (along with my best friend). Since then it has been insane:
1) She won’t email the group of bridesmaids for planning, only the other Maid/Matron of Honor. So, when she disagrees with something my other Maid/Matron of Honor – who hates confrontation – has to tell everyone else. I found this out from another bridesmaid and politely asked if my sister could email the whole group instead – and she went bananas!
2) During her ranting email back to me (we had played phone tag for a week so I emailed her) she told me that she wished I hadn’t asked her to be in the wedding and went on to badmouth the other bridesmaids, including my cousin who just lost her mom! She’s convinced that if I had just left it to her we’d have the perfect shower/bachelorette party, despite…
3) Not once has she asked what I’d actually like to do for my shower/party, yet that doesn’t stop her form being mad that it’s in the city I call home and not where she lives (I lived there briefly as a kid so she says that it’s my home base… it’s been 21 years!). She’s mad that we’re having a dairy-free menu when I am deathly allergic to dairy (sad story, I know!) She’s mad that the bachelorette party isn’t a week before the wedding, it’s 6 weeks before, but I have two bridesmaids (also my 2 BFFs) that live in Southern California, so I wasn’t going to ask them to fly out twice in one week/take a week off. She’s also mad that I’m not inviting her mom, who was the definition of evil stepmother and who my family hate.
I’m sure you’re thinking… why did I ask her?? You’d have to know my sister to understand fully, but she’s the kind of person that when she’s upset with you about something you pay for it for a really, really long time. She would have dragged the whole family in to a mess and I just didn’t want to deal with it. It felt like a no-win situation at the time. It sounds melodramatic but it’s happened so many times that I’ve lost count.
In the end I asked her if she wanted to be in the wedding, since she said she wished I hadn’t asked her in the first place. That was over a week ago and nothing. Nada. Zip.
So… what do I do?! Do I giver a deadline to respond? Do I just kick her out? Do I ignore it and hope it passes before the wedding (and that she’s in a good mood December 4th!)? If anyone has some constructive advice I would so, so greatly appreciate it!!!! Thanks guys (sorry again for the length!!)