(Closed) Help – sister/MoH problem!

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.  Your sister is being really inconsiderate and selfish.

If it will cause a huge problem to remove her as a bridesmaid my recommendation would be to do nothing.

She knows when/were she’s supposed to be.  Make some plans in case she doesn’t show, or throws a tantrum and leaves or something- like an alternate seating chart (since you don’t want an empty seat at the head table!), one of your BMs ready to give a toast/hold your bouquet/etc. 

Otherwise, just leave it alone.  If she shows up, great!  If not, you have plans to deal with it.

Sorry you’re having to deal with this so close to your wedding.  Try not to let it put a damper on your celebration!

Post # 4
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sorry to hear you’re dealing with so much unneeded stress. I’ve never heard of a significant other (who is not in the wedding party) join the wedding party at the head table.Although most would agree it is not an ideaal situation to have him sitting alone during dinner, but grown adults should be able to enjoy a dinner without being superglued to one another. It sounds like your sister is dealing with some major insecurity issues or possibly bad relationship issues by making such unreasonable demands regarding her b/f.

Is there a possiblity that she’s jealous of you and is lashing out as a reaction to it?

If you feel the best option is removing her from the bridal party, I would try to do so very gently and at the very least tell your parents about your plans. Just a word of warning, your sister sounds  like this news is going to hurt so expect another round of inconsiderate messages from her as it sounds like she can’t think of anyone outside of herself andher relationship.

Good luck. Family problems surrounding wedding planning are almost always exhausting. Try to stay strong and do what your gut instinct tells you to do

Post # 5
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

I know this will be hard to take, but I really think you should keep her on as Maid/Matron of Honor.  Soemtimes weddings bring out jealousy or other unfortunate feelings in people.  It’s very likely that in the next few years your sister will "grow up" a bit and, hopefully, maybe, (we can dream) you guys can become friends.  I really think that you (and she) will be so glad that she was your Maid/Matron of Honor.  Even though it’s hard to imagine, I think it’s true that friends come and go but family is forever.

Post # 6
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I honestly think that you should save yourself some headaches. I personally would have one heart to heart with her and let her know your feelings. If she doesn’t get the point then, well she’s oblivious to  having mature relationships. Because she is your sister, I’d keep her Maid/Matron of Honor, enjoy the wedding even if she is challenging and laugh off her boyfriend’s insecurities.

The truth is, if she doesn’t realize her actions now, she will someday and will have to deal with how much fun she is missing out on by having a negative attitude.

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