- 9 years ago
I’ve been an avid weddingbee reader for months and have got so many great ideas from all you ladies, and now, just two weeks before my wedding, I’ve got a problem and I need some advice! Any comments would be great!
Basically, when we set a date I asked my sister to be my MoH. This wasn’t so much because we are close (we have always been quite distant), but more as a gesture. From the very beginning she has been nothing short of difficult. She took forever getting her dress, even after I allowed her to pick her own style, only determining the color so it matched everyone else. I gave her 3 possible stores to buy from, and offered to go with her to get it sorted out. My parents had already offered to buy it for her so it had nothing to do with money. But she was never free, always doing something with her boyfriend. She finally ordered it just one month ago (!) and my parents had to pay loads extra to have it express shipped in time. Then she wasn’t even available to pick it up (went away with her bf) so I collected it for her.
I spoke to her a month ago about the arrangements for the days leading up to the wedding and the day itself, to give her an idea of what she should attend. I haven’t asked her for anything, not a shower, or any duties on the day except to be there, as I know she doesn’t like responsibility. I told her that because our parents haven’t met my FIs parents, we were going to have an immediate family only rehersal dinner to give them a chance to chat, which would include her (she would not have to pay anything). I also told her what time and where we were getting ready the morning of, and that I wanted her to sit on the top table with us during the reception. The next I hear she is telling my parents that she won’t do any of it unless her boyfriend can come to it all! She has been with him for 6 months and I have met him twice, both times he hardly said anything to me. I have invited him to the wedding, and tried to involve them, but with nothing in response. And she demands that he attend the rehersal dinner, and sit on the top table (or she won’t sit there with us) and she wants him to get changed with us in the morning as ‘he will be lonely’. He is 24! I told her that I understood that he wouldn’t know anyone, and my Fiance invited him on his bachelor party to help him meet people, but he didn’t want to go (and kept us waiting a whole week for his response!). We also offered to take them out to meet some of our friends so he would know some people, but he didn’t even reply to the offer.
My parents have been defending her, and finally agreed a compromise that he would come to the dinner, but not sit with my sister at the reception. However, she didn’t seem happy, and with her threatening not to come just a month before, I’m not sure if I can rely on her to do anything at all now its so close! She was already supposed to do my hair and make up and when she said she wasn’t coming at the start if her demands weren’t met I paid a lot of money to hire someone last minute.
I’m tempted to tell her that I don’t want her to be a bridesmaid anymore as I can’t count on her, and that her and her boyfriend should just come as guests. I know this might cause a huge problem, but I’m not sure I can deal with her any more. Am I being completely unreasonable?
p.s. sorry for the mega long post!!